Rin
by Silverwing013
Summary: My life can be split into before and after the nap that changed everything. When I woke up, I found there was more to me. And to my brother. And other people from Mushiyori City. But it couldn't be as easy as what a fan would expect at hearing where I lived. That's right. A fan. I'm a fan of Yu Yu Hakusho and I don't belong here. But I'm definitely Rin, younger sister of Yuu Kaito.
1. Part 1: Chapter 1

In a past life, I would complain about needing glasses. Things I would do to have regular eyesight. It was all joking. All right. Perhaps I was a little serious. Even years after wearing them, I would catch sudden sight of my frames and spin my head to see what was off to my side. So I would go without whenever I could as a child. Until at some point in my early teen years I discovered my eyesight had gotten to the point I couldn't skip wearing them on weekends and holiday breaks.

Today, well, today I was on the run.

"Rin! Rin, you get back here!"

Don't worry. There was a point to the glasses. They weren't broken or anything, I swear. I only snitched them off of Yuu's face. All those things about eyeglasses earlier? That wasn't Yuu.

Isn't it normal? Complaining of not having something? Claiming jealousy for something someone else had? Joking about some trait you wished you had that the other person didn't want? Man, what I wouldn't give for 20/20 vision. I'm jealous of how curly your hair is. What do you mean, you hate your drive? I wish I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.

Normal is really subjective. Really subjective.

I jammed Yuu's glasses on as I ran, scrunching up my nose so they wouldn't fall off as I made it to the bathroom. They didn't really serve their purpose very well. I jumped up onto the step stool for a better look, leaning close and trying to make myself out through my blurry vision.

His glasses were large. Too large. And the black frames were only marking the top. It wasn't my style. These didn't just feel wrong, they were wrong.

"Of course they are wrong."

I spun about to see Yuu squinting at me from the doorway, his breathing off from chasing me. His curly hair looked frizzy around his head and I couldn't make out his freckles until he pulled the glasses off my face. And even if they felt wrong, I mourned a little at the loss. At the way I could see him just fine now.

"You do not need eyeglasses Rin. Mom went over that with you a couple of years ago when I made the discovery that I did. Your vision is fine. You know this. Right?" His already serious face pinched in anxiety. I nodded, trying to reassure him. Even if I couldn't reassure myself with what was going on with me, I could at least give some to him. Yuu didn't let it go however and leaned closer. "Is it… Are…are you feeling fine? Rin?"

"I feel fine." I put as much of a whine in that as I could. "You're the one acting strange, Yuu."

"Acting strange?" Alarm entered his tone. "I asked only if you felt fine Rin. Why did you bring up how you have been acting since…since last week, when Yana and Kido stopped by the apartment?"

"I am not," I disagreed. It was super childish, but I was annoyed by him right now. I'd only wanted to figure out what was going on. Yuu might be smart, but I didn't think I could explain it well enough for anyone. Whatever idea came to my mind that seemed to fit, sounded utterly crazy. Except, it wasn't. And as a child, who would take me serious? Okay, Yuu might. But he was the type to take lots of things seriously.

"Rin." His tone brokered no argument. Yuu stared me straight in the eye, level with me, face lined in earnest need. "This is important. You need to be honest with me. I made a colossal miscalculation, a blunder that put you in danger and I risked my very being to save you from my grievous error. I fear I have made a mistake in thinking you were well. I need to know if there is something wrong, something different from last week after your afternoon nap."

Yes. But I fidgeted. I could probably duck under Yuu's reach and escape out. It would be easy. But it wasn't like he would be deterred and we lived together in this apartment. I didn't remember laying down for this nap, which left me wondering what exactly happened. It was clear Yuu did have something to do with it. The two boys I had been introduced to when we all walked home to our apartment. They'd all been doing something in Yuu's room when I was busy coloring. I do remember bouncing into his room to ask about going for ice cream. His face had gone stark in horror and he'd screamed.

"What did you do," I asked suddenly.

"There is something," he pressed.

I shrugged. "Yeah, but it's too weird and you don't believe in fantasy things."

"Neither did you."

Oh. Right. I guess I didn't. But the part of me that grew up with eyeglasses did believe in that type of thing. Both were there inside of me, except one wasn't as strong.

"I think…I think I remembered a past life. I wore eyeglasses like you," I added helpfully.

* * *

Okay, fine. I fess up. Glasses aren't really the point here. But I focus on weird things. Give me a picture of a couple posing for a photo as they do some tourist thing and the first thing I notice will be some tiny guy in the background about ready to trip over an umbrella laying on the ground. And I jump around in telling my stories. I want to start here, but I should be starting five steps before to set it up. But I just jump right into it. So my jumping around in a story is because the person I tell it to makes me back up.

Give me a moment to run backwards here.

Sorry. Hard to see where I'm going, but I think I need to turn slightly right and a few meters more…there. Well, I think so anyway. Then again, I'm talking to myself to make sense of this. So, crazy to anyone listening to in on me. I try to at least entertain myself. Where did I need to start again?

Oh, right. Yuu said it for me. That nap.

Everything before the nap was one way and now it's another.

* * *

"Rin?"

A large hand jostled my shoulder. With a groan, I tried to burrow myself back under the covers. "What?" I didn't feel as though I'd been laying long. Head slightly throbbing and body feeling heavy, I wasn't happy with being woken up. I really didn't want to get up unless this person gave me a good reason to do so.

Wait. Rin?

Oh right, my name. Or was it? I blindly searched back to remember anything I might have been dreaming, but came up empty handed.

"It is late and you have not eaten yet. You need to get up. Are…are you not feeling okay?"

I squinted my eyes open and peered over where I held the covers up to my face. The other face was clear. Curly black hair that was partially slicked back and ruffled, cute freckles, small nose under large, rounded-corner, rectangular glasses, eyebrows up and round little eyes watering concern. Odd. My older brother tried too hard to be responsible and in control of what was going on to show his little sister any uncertainties.

Older brother sat wrong in my head, but I couldn't figure out why. He'd always been older than me.

"Are you okay, Yuu?" I scooched my way up and closer to him. A too small finger reached out for his face. "What happened? I'm fine," I quickly said. And in the face of his face, I suddenly was wide awake with alert worry. "Was there another gas leak in the building? Is it bad? You didn't look like this last time. Just…intense when you called the landlord to inform them."

Carbon monoxide. I always had the vague memory of being carried downstairs. But I'd woken up with my three siblings at Grandpa and Grandma's house. I frowned. I was positive of three siblings, younger. But I was also equally sure of only me and Yuu. Grandpa and Grandma's house?

"No, no gas leak," he hurried to assure me. With a couple of blinks, his face lost the earlier concern. "I made an oversight on an experiment with Yana and Kido earlier when you came in."

"Oooh." That could explain why the late nap. And why I woke up feeling off. Yuu must have really made a big oversight to even mess up an experiment. He got really perfectionistic over his work. Let's see, what was the last thing I remember?

I was going through the English coloring book Yuu had gifted me with at the start of the school year. Which, now that I thought about that, was strange. Mom had given me a whole bunch of basic language coloring workbooks when I was in preschool and kindergarten. Well, I'd finished the book. The one Yuu gave me. And then I ran into his room because he'd promised me an ice cream when I did.

"Oh!" I sat up and grinned at him, then made a grabby motion with my tiny hand. "Where's my ice cream Yuu?"

Besides, I was fine. Whatever he'd done, I wasn't going to worry too much over. It was nice to be the youngest and not worry. Right at this moment anyway.

I grinned wider when he snorted into laughter. "Gimmie, gimmie, Yuu. You," I stressed the English word. "Promised me an ice cream when I finished up that book." He covered his face with a large hand, shoulders shaking with his laughter. Score.

"Tomorrow," he said finally. And ruffled my head with a silly smile. I ducked my head a bit, the typical action feeling suddenly unfamiliar. He stared at me in surprise. "Are you suddenly too old for your big brother, but not ice cream?"

I paused, thinking it over. The unfamiliar reaction to Yuu faded. Instead, a longing filled me up as though it'd been ages since he'd last done that. I pushed the feeling away. It hadn't been ages at all.

"Are you suddenly old enough to break a promise?" I stared up at his startled face. "Ice cream. Gimmie, gimmie, Yuu."

He huffed in amusement. "Am I being blackmailed out of big brother duties until I produce said ice cream?" I nodded in agreement. "Tomorrow Rin. I am only delaying it a little. It is late. A bit late to walk to the convenience store."

"Oh, all right," I allowed. "What is there to eat before I go back to bed for the night then?"

Yuu's face became apologetic and I knew what the answer would be. "It is late Rin. I can make a quick shiojake if you are willing to wait a little longer. Salmon actually sounds good to me at the moment now that I think on it."

I shook my head. "It's okay. There's nothing to be done about it. I can just put some rice in the steamer. I'd rather the long version for the salmon fried rice anyway. It tastes better that way. You always say so and it's true. It's not the same." I jumped off the bed and shook my head again, but more for the room spinning than in saying 'no'. It stopped shortly enough and I stretched my heavy muscles, swinging one arm and then the other across my chest to pull at them slightly. "We've got sugar and cinnamon, right?"

"I believe so. Why?"

"It sounds good to me with rice right now."

I could see it in my mind's eye. Crystal grains and brown powder dusting the top of fluffy white rice, a fork ready at the side of the plate. Yummy.

Yuu followed behind me, I could hear his footsteps padding along. "You got that idea from that Akari girl in your class, didn't you?"

"Huh? Oh. Nooo. I've had it before."

He hummed. "Interesting. You know I am here and can get it for you right?"

I glanced backward from climbing up the shelves to spot him leaning against the wall, arms crossed and eyebrow raised over his glasses. Then grinned. "Like you're going stop me."

There was a sigh of fake exasperation. "I will not be happy if I need to say such things as 'I told you so' to you one day." But Yuu's eyes sparked in amusement as I got the steamer off the shelf and hopped down with it.

"One day I'll be tall enough not to climb."

"And what a sad day it will be for you then."

"I didn't say I wouldn't climb."

He chuckled and peeled away from the wall to grab a bottle of water out. It was nice to see Yuu so much more relaxed than before when he woke me up. That I could take his mind off of his worry. He would blame himself for it. But I'd probably blame myself if I couldn't manage to lighten him up. I rather liked it when I could help someone or get them to smile.

When the rice finished, I scooped some out for Yuu first, surprising him, before I took some out for myself. Then I added a bit of sugar and cinnamon on top for both of ours. "Try it. It's good."

"I am not that hungry, Rin." He hesitated a moment, then said, "I ate earlier."

"Liar," I called him out.

He tended to do this. When it was near the next paycheck, Yuu would skip a meal. I was never quite sure if it was to make the food last long enough or to spoil me. In this case, I would go with trying to spoil me. Considering the money he was putting to the side for the promised ice cream. The notion made me itch and feel more uncomfortable than it ever did in the past. Less warm with him looking out for me and more wishing he didn't have to do it. I lied too this time.

"I'm not that hungry either."

Yuu stared at me from over his half-drunk water, studying me for the lie. Or to figure out why I did this. His eyes flickered down to his plate. "Fine," he heaved out as though it was an inconvenience. "Just this once, Rin."

I choose not to bring up forgetting the ice cream. I'd never done something like that before. But I was positive Yuu would take it badly. He was supposed to be the older brother. The responsible one looking out for his little sister. And often spoiling me. It wasn't supposed to be the other way around.

As we ate though, I was filled up with a warmth at knowing I was able to ease whatever troubles were on his mind and get him to not skip a meal. Like a job well done. I couldn't keep my eyes off of Yuu as he ate, rolling the rice around in his mouth thoughtfully before digging in. I hid my smile. He liked the sugar and cinnamon combination on top. Awesome.

Some people back home thought it was a strange addition to rice when I asked for it at restaurants. But our family had always brought out the option on the table when we had it at home. It was nice to see someone else savoring the taste like I did. Especially Yuu.

I frowned. This was clearly the first time I'd had this at the apartment with Yuu.

I swallowed a bigger bite than before, hoping it would fix the sudden empty and terrible feeling in my gut.

Something was wrong.

Something was wrong with me.

But what?

I didn't dare bring it up to Yuu. He'd been worried about that experiment of his. This was no science experiment, but something else. Something I wanted to figure out before I made him worry so soon again. I wouldn't have any answers in bringing it up.

Only that I knew something was wrong with me.

I couldn't put my finger on it.

I felt fine, physically, but still. It didn't seem right to be having such certain thoughts on memories I couldn't possibly have. I was positive they were real. But logically, things like the rice toppings and younger siblings shouldn't belong.

They were real. They felt right. They were part of me.

But…oh. Maybe his experiment did have something to do with it. This was just like waking up from a dream that felt so real I could still feel certain about knowing how to ride a bicycle. Maybe the chemicals of what Yuu was working with made what I'd been dreaming still feel real after waking.

That had to be it.

Right? Right.

And that settled some of my stomach from what my gut was doing. It should have calmed me, but I still felt uneasy after telling Yuu goodnight. Just an interesting result to one of Yuu's school projects I attempted to assure myself as I lay there in the dark.


	2. Part 1: Chapter 2

Yuu didn't appear pleased. Except, this dealt with him feeling as though he made a mistake. He was serious in just about every aspect of his life and this mistake focused on me. Me. You've got to understand. Yuu takes lots of things seriously and I don't want to add to his stress if I can help it. Because he's not like other brothers here that I've heard about from Tsukiko, Aoi, Mitsu, or Akari. Yuu has always, always, looked out for me.

People like that in this world, in any world, are people of near myth. Real life is messy, uncertain. There are those who come close to how certain characters in stories are written. The rare few who are trusted above the rest. He scoffed a few months back, when I told him he was like a character in a book with a heart of gold. Well, he was certainly a heart of gold brother. And he'd warmed to my amendment.

My feelings remain the same. Even today. A heart of gold brother.

And something he did…

I swallowed. Yuu's freckles even looked pale.

Fuzzy as the image was, I know that I saw his horrified face and scream from the wrong viewpoint.

"A…a past life." His face struggled with it, internal gears already shifting to work through this. "How did you come to that conclusion, Rin?"

I tried to swing his mind onto a different track, maybe slip away from the real conversation after what I told him. Sticking with the eyeglasses. "Don't you ever get annoyed about turning your whole head instead of looking through the corner of your eye? Because of your glasses? It was so weird, not being able to see clearly looking through your glasses and that's not how it should be. Or turning your head when you catch sight of something going by the corner of your eye only to realize it was nothing but the frames—"

"Rin. Stop with the eyeglasses." His voice was strained and I froze. My hands, moving as I spoke before, drifted down and I peered down at my toes now that I didn't have anything to block my view of Yuu. "I asked for honesty Rin. You can give it to me straight. No matter how weird it may seem. Fantasy…it is a matter of perspective. Perspectives can change."

* * *

Perspective.

While glasses were not the point, what they led to, absolutely was important. This is my life. Glasses have a point. These were my starting point. If everything before the nap was one way, then everything after the glasses was really another.

My realization. To where I was. To what had happened.

Not all of it. But enough of it.

And watching as it completely tore Yuu apart.

* * *

Monday.

With a deep breath, I took the moment to relish the feeling of Monday.

While there's nothing wrong about looking forward to the weekend, I looked forward to the start of the week too. Mondays felt like a fresh start, away from home, and a nice break from family. There were stronger undertones drifting through my head this morning. I shoved the odd weekend out of my head and hurried to the door. There was all day at school to enjoy and soak in. Yuu had been acting quite the worrywart all through Sunday and I was fine.

Fine.

Such a lie that word was probably. But I felt fine.

Physically, I could be absolutely sure of no lie in saying I was fine at least.

Yuu, however, had these weird extra lines to his face and bags were forming. The same older brother who touted all about maintaining proper sleep habits to keep yourself at your highest mental capacity. Also promoted good eating for health, even though he always opted out when money was tight and drank mostly water instead. The few plants around the apartment for fresh oxygen were strategically placed closer to my side of the bedroom and the large potted one was in Mom's bedroom.

As was typical, she barely had enough time to change shoes at the door before Yuu and I headed out for school. Her job hours kept her busy through the night and she'd often pick up a few additional hours, both for the extra money and the extra safety. Traveling through the streets too late at night, when her night shift was supposed to begin, would often turn very sketchy. And Yuu was nothing if not a worrywart. It always caused mom to smile when he'd sigh in relief as she brought home an early-clock-in-for-every-shift-that-week work schedule.

She caught him before he could duck away, ruffling his curls for peeking at the newest work week schedule she held. With a giggle, I shot forward as quick as I could to fluff up the curls on the very top of his head. Yuu hastily took a step back and stood, pushing his sliding glasses as he directed a snobbish air of importance down his nose at me. I clapped a hand over my mouth, peeking over to Mom.

"My, my, Yuu. When did you become so tall and distinguished?"

I broke into laughter.

With a huff, Yuu ruffled my head and directed me out the front door. "I do not think Rin needs the continued extra encouragement for her joke."

"Says the elder brother who just did that for his precocious little sister."

"Says the mother. I take my appearance for school very seriously."

"You take everything seriously," I pipped in. Yuu couldn't hide the quirk of a smile from me. "Especially my jokes."

It was such a typical Monday morning routine that it was refreshing. So refreshing, it felt brand new all over again. It was a great feeling. Yuu chuckled as I skipped beside him and lengthened his long strides, quickening his pace. I kept right up.

The feeling of every familiar sight appearing new over the course of the weekend didn't disappear. I felt so bright eyed and bushy tailed as I skipped, waving goodbye to Yuu as he went his way for Meiou High. And without him worrying for me, without me doing the usual, usual? Was I sure it was usual for me to keep high spirits and keep his mind from worrying? Well, yes. That rang true. Really true.

It soothed me as I bounced around the next right turn towards my school. Walking to school was fun. I'd never really had the chance to do it before because school used to be 12 miles away. We'd wait at the end of the driveway for the dusty school bus to come pulling up to pick us up. And I'd come up with things like jump over school bags like hurdles to make sure my two little brothers didn't go running off before it got there.

Or battling invisible and pretend ninjas my strange thoughts parted in a last shot before drifting out of my grasp.

Things that didn't belong. Not here. I know gravel roads weren't going to be showing up in any city, but I also know I just pictured one with three younger siblings surrounded by fields and the sound of the bulk tank running. A bulk tank? I reached out in my mind, searching and then thought myself stupid. Of course I knew what a bulk tank was. It held all the milk and cooled it. I knew that.

But how?

I live in Mushiyori City.

I grew up on a dairy farm.

Both were real and right and part of me.

It'd happened throughout yesterday too. All Sunday. Since that Saturday nap. A fresh new part of me, marveling over everything and how it used to be. But it kind of…flittered into the background whenever I took notice of it, apologizing, trying to distance from everything going on with me.

But it was me.

Logically, no, something was wrong.

But it was me.

I shrugged it off. Things settled and I ignored anything to do with worry. Big brother Yuu can do that for me. I hopped along, smiling at how delicious that ice cream was yesterday and how when I finished it, the licked clean stick proclaimed me a winner of a free one. I gave it to Yuu. He'd looked so startled at my offering it too. But I insisted. He deserved something nice every now and again too. I really hoped he used it. Chocolate. He should totally use it for a chocolate one.

Maybe. Yuu always did get this aching look when he spoke about going out for chocolate ice cream together with our dad when he got back from business trips. It's the closest I've ever seen him, that I can remember, get to eating the cold treat.

With a mad grin, I ran for it, so glad the school uniform was a skort as I hurdled over the empty bike rack.

"Rin!"

I let out a triumphant whoop. "I made it that time!"

A spikey haired boy in the sky blue uniform immediately tore off from the group to try for himself. The three girls at the corner shrieked as he catapulted himself into the air.

"Aoi!"

Long braids flew up and flapped behind the girl running over, her face scrunched in anger, not concern, at Aoi's banged up shin. Flashing all his teeth up at her, he clicked his tongue and gave a two finger salute. "Check out how close I made it this time Na-OW! That hurt!" Aoi pitifully clutched his cheek. His eyes watered, going large.

"Don't you give me those puppy eyes Aoi. Get up."

All tears disappeared as he scrambled up. "Yes ma'am!"

Giggles cracked up out of me. Following commands. The boy was often like the naughty puppy Natsue complained he actually was. Mostly, I think he liked trying to get her face red. If not that, then making her explode. She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "You're an idiot."

"Rin did it," he whined.

"At least Rin grabs the bar going over if she doesn't jump high enough so she doesn't injure herself like a moron."

"Exactly," called out another voice. I waved over to the rest of the group, getting waves back. The girl tucked her short strands behind an ear and cupped her mouth. "Rin actually listens to big brother Yuu during his safety speeches."

"And Rin doing it is not an excuse!" The other girl shouted at him.

Puffy and pouty, Aoi turned his head to look at the group at the corner. "Are you going to help me at all, Yasahiro? Come on. Us boys, we got to stick together."

Long curly brown hair bobbed up from a comic book, the other boy's wide eyes blinking as he peered about and took in the situation. "No thanks." And those grey eyes snapped right back to the brightly colored book. Yasahiro lived in a house filled with women and girls. There was never a time Aoi had yet gotten the other boy to take his side against the rest of our little walking group.

"God you guys are loud for a bunch of munchkins," complained a voice loudly as it cut through our laughter. Huffing, Natsue pulled Aoi to his feet, rolling her eyes at the older student. Mitsu tucked her short hair back behind her ear again and muttered out a greeting to her cousin. She was the only one.

Tsukihito was arrogant in a way that made him unfriendly to others. He didn't help matters when he typically skipped walking them or even Mitsu home when the after school activities finished up. All because he didn't even care enough to bother showing up to any after-school activities. There was never any of his classmates joining him as we walked, him muttering insults every time he saw one walk past.

But something sat wrong in me when he grumpily looked over at me. Wide eyes under brown fringe and a young, innocent face. He needed someone to care about him in life. Because it seemed sad now for someone his age to believe the entire world was filled with idiots.

"Fine. Stay there staring like a dummy and miss school. No one's gunna care about some missing kid."

He should probably be glad he's never met Yuu thanks to the routes to school we all take, always saying rude stuff like that. And glad my older brother finds anyone who uses violence as a method utterly deplorable.

"Rin! Ignore him, let's get going!"

I hurried to catch up with the group, then turned back to see Tsukihito trailing a distance behind us, glaring off to the side. When his head turned, he caught sight of me staring and glared. I spoke up anyway. Someone had to stop the whole not-talking-to-him-the-whole-way-to-school thing going on. "My older brother will."

"Woo-hoo," he snapped sarcastically back. "Good for you to have family looking out for a dummy. He must be a bigger dummy than you."

"Oooh!" Aoi bounded up, excitement sparkling in his eyes as he waved his arm about in the air. "I still vote to somehow drag your cousin with us on a park day and officially meet the older Kaito! Big brother Yuu and Tsu—"

"Like I'd go hang out with bunch of munchkins on my only day of freedom." His wide violet eyes got halfway through rolling and then narrowed back in on me. "Wait. Yuu Kaito is your brother? Huh. What do you know? Your brother is a big dummy. For turning such a great offer down by only the coolest adult there is. His loss, my gain."

Tsukihito flashed a smirk at me and strutted by.

"It's going to be world changing."


	3. Part 1: Chapter 3

"Perspectives can change," Yuu repeated. "People can change. But I cannot understand…your change... I cannot correct my error if you…"

His mistake. Not fault. Whatever he had done, it hadn't been planned. It was an accident. I didn't want him feeling that way. I didn't blame him.

"Are you in pain? Was it painful? Did I—"

"No!" I cut off the panicked words, my heart leaping in my chest, wanting to stop causing him pain. Yuu's small round eyes were intently focused on me. I stared back, direct, not looking away. "You did not hurt me Yuu."

I held his gaze. His breathing slowed, but he didn't look away from me for a second.

"Good." The relief was evident in his voice. I reached out with my small hand and touched the side of his eyeglasses.

"I remember wearing glasses." Despite what Yuu said, I couldn't quite get off the topic. It felt as though it were something vital missing from me. "For years. A long time. I remember hating them too. That my eyesight became worse, enough that I had to wear them all the time, not just at school. But I don't need glasses. I don't. There are things I see through the glasses that don't match what I see now."

Small eyes gazed at me on a face still too pale, a jaw just a bit too tense, eyebrows both up and furrowed. I slowly pulled my hand away, tugging it close to my chest, and tucked my chin in. I felt like crying. I'd done wrong. I shouldn't have said that out loud to my older brother. He was hurting because of me. I'd done that.

A large hand cupped over my smaller one that I clutched tightly.

"What things Rin?" There was honesty in his voice past the treble of emotions. And I immediately looked up at him in hearing that shine through. It meant more than I could put into words to hear him speak to me that way. There was no veiled threat laying under his question. Trust. Safety. To do right. Care.

I hugged him. But I choose then not to reveal the sufferings. Of trying to reach out to help what was going on inside of me. Filling the gaping holes and broken cracks with something better. I choose to leave out the pieces of bad. The things that echoed with heart aching despair.

Past life or any other theories I came up with wouldn't stop my older brother wanting to defend me.

"Like a barn full of cows. And fields with hay, soybeans, and corn."

"Corn?" I moved my head away from where it was tucked to his side and nodded. He appeared puzzled at that one, working his way through it. "A field of it? Japan's the largest importer of corn and most of that comes from America. America."

It was? That's kind of neat. That there was a connection between the two and it was personal, I being part of both sides.

Curiosity flickered across Yuu's face along with a different kind of focus settling upon it, his manner of speech shifting. "It was not a milk farm from Hokkaido or Kobe with their beef cattle, was it?"

I hesitated before slowly answering, "No." And then added the correction, fixing that which was part of me. Defined me. In the language best-suited for the subject matter. "Dairy farm. With Holsteins. A small family farm of about 80 head. It's over a hundred if you count the dry cows, steers, yearlings, and calves though."

Eyebrows up, Yuu staggered back a step. I ducked my head and swallowed. Because there was no going back in playing any of this off like a joke to him. Any hope he might have had in my voiced theory of remembering a past life being childhood imaginations or realistic type dreams was shot to pieces. Shot to tatters. Blown to bits.

However one wanted to call the dashed hopes of whatever he thought he did to me. And it leading to something like this. It wasn't a tragic accident, this wasn't like dozens of stories of robberies gone wrong or a terrible road incident. I'm glad I'm not roadkill like some people, but this was a fantastical shove in the face of not-supposed-to-happen and what-do-you-do.

Dread filled his face. Eyebrows pinching over panicked eyes and parted mouth. Stunned at what unquestionably stood baldly before him. Me. With hair. Bald facts of what I said being true, not me being bald. I bit my lip, wanting to claim it a joke and wanting to grab his hand, but I knew it wouldn't fix this. It wouldn't fix his pain. I did this. You did this. Why would you do this to your older brother? He asked, wanted to know, and will be there with me. Together. Idiot. You hurt him. I hurt Yuu.

I rubbed at my eyes, shoulders shaking as I tried not to look at him.

I didn't want to see another person I cared about staring at me with hate filled eyes.

Hard. Cold. Shining with it. Brimming over. Shooting daggers.

Not Yuu.

Not Yuu.

Not him, please.

"Sorry," I said softly not in English, but back to Japanese.

My arm was tugged and the next thing I knew a long arm was wrapped around me. A hand cupped my head, fingers pressing a solid presence against the top of it. For a moment I froze. And then the moment was over. I gripped him as tightly as I could, crying all the harder at the support he gave me when I hurt him. That never happened. It always happened.

"You speak English. Rin. You speak English. Well. It...it has to have been when I grabbed for…" I looked up at him stopping. Yuu shook his head, freeing it of turmoil and disorientation, focusing his direction. "It has to be from me. And the eyeglasses. From me. It is just... Me. I am sorry Rin. I'm so sorry."

* * *

It was clear to me, even then, that despite Yuu not liking he'd done something to me, he was awfully relieved to grasp a hold of another explanation. Grasping at the straws. Aiming for the relief that my past life theory could be wrong.

And of course it's now I know why.

It's now I realize how much my change affected him.

How much my words affected him.

* * *

Akari was far more pleased than I was. I was more baffled and stuck between two different kinds of corrections. She kept talking during lunch about having someone else in the classroom who wrote their name out like she did. Akari had spent her last school year overseas in America, being the exciting transfer student of this year. They started in the fall and not spring, formerly weird to me but more understandable today, which threw her off and behind. The girl kept writting her given name before her family name. First week of school and into this week. Which I had started doing as well.

Thus, Akari being so pleased.

With it being brought to my attention, I was torn between putting my family name first and changing it to roman letters. Correct it this way or that way? I laughed it off with Akari, claiming solidarity. I liked her and all the things she talked about from her year overseas. Tsukiko, Mitsu, Aoi, and a few others chimed in to do the same as well. Akari was real pleased with this. But I was left wondering about my new reactions to her stories abroad, comparing and sympathizing with the things she spoke of now.

"Hey, little Kaito."

I spun about and caught sight of the taller teenage boy, hand raised in greeting. Recognizing him as one of the two friends Yuu had introduced last week, I waved enthusiastically back. Yuu had never brought others to our apartment before then so I was glad to meet them. Before them, he'd always mention people he got on with at the library, never school, always getting along better with the older crowds who admired and assisted him with his essay work. The first friends of Yuu I'd had the chance to meet.

Mitsunari Yanagisawa and Asato Kido would not be forgotten names by me. They were both too much of a big deal. Hanging out together with the little sister shut out of the bedroom, it was great. Sure I got to know all about them on the walk and talking their ears off as I showed them the place, Yuu insured my inclusion, but I heard his suggestion to my book clearly enough. He'd been open enough to grant others an invite to our apartment, I was going to let him have a friend moment like he always let me. Besides. It was Yuu. He'd never block the door shut on me or push me out of the way when I joined for publisher meetings, piping up and into the meeting room from the boring waiting room. I'm always allowed wherever my older brother is. A fact that fills me up much more these days.

And this one had been the nicknamed one Yuu spoke of with more warmth in his voice. Yana. The easier going one with a leisure pace.

Huh. Funny. I'd always thought he looked like a punk before. With his eyes lighting up at the sight of me, his long face was handsome and charming. His choice of hair style and the casual clothes he'd worn the first time I met him didn't really go well with his physical appearance. Without the droopy eyes and being in his school uniform, he looked likely to be asked to model. The hair sticking straight up, complete with shaved sides and racecar haircut, felt more artistic than leaving him looking like a punk. Then again, his punk type hair was what stood out from the group that kidnapped the well-known fight junkie of...

That didn't sound like the friend of my brother I met a few days ago. Who was I thinking of? It had to be someone else I confused him with there. Except dismissing this thought didn't feel right. It sat there, lingering out of my reach of why I thought badly of Yuu's friend.

"Call me Rin," I piped up at him. My previous thoughts of my given and family name must be shining through. I shrugged at the reason and stared expectantly up at him. "You call Yuu by the family name, so you've got to call me by something different so we can tell which of our family you mean. Mom's shorter than Yuu too after all. And Rin is shorter. Short and sweet. Easier to say. What do you say?"

His head tilted with a lopsided smile. "Oh? Hm, hmm. I think I like my version better. You're part of Kaito after all, an important part. Little Kaito fits."

I pouted at him and he laughed in the midst of blowing a bubble with his gum, causing it to pop all over his mouth and for me to crack up into laughter at how silly he looked. More laughter joined ours and we turned to see who it was. Hair scruffy and bleached, it was the other one my brother invited to the apartment. The other one.

I grinned and waved wildly at him. "I burst Yana's bubble!"

"Nice job, kid!" Asato Kido flashed me a grin and thumbs up. Turning to Yana, he smirked. "Got some on your nose."

"Thanks." Yana rubbed at his nose, seeming oblivious to any snickers failing to be covered by my hands. "I can't seem to find it. Where is it on my nose? Can you tell—there's no gum there, is there?" He'd finally looked up at us from rubbing and checking his fingers. We shook our heads. Yana lowered his hand, shoving it into his pants pocket, and smiled. "Good one."

"Call me Rin," I piped up again as I turned with expectant eyes to the other friend of Yuu as we walked onwards.

"Heh." Yana looked back over his shoulder, appearing amused, halting his lazy long strides for us. "You're determined about that aren't you, little Kaito?"

"I thought you were asking to be called by your given name kid. I can call you what Yana's calling you if you prefer it. Little Kaito. It's practically the same thing as saying kid," Asato Kido muttered to himself. "Just longer."

"It's Rin, Asato. Yana gave a much more profound reason than that," I criticized and yanked at the long length of belt not tucked into Asato's pant loops. His eyes went wide, doing a double-take, mouthing his name to himself. Then he twisted his body, spinning on his heel.

"What the hel-eck did you say Yana," he squawked out. "Huh? What did you say?"

Yana tilted his head, droopy eyes staring off into the distance long enough for Asato to be antsy on his feet.

"Don't remember," he said at last.

And Asato threw his hands up in the air with a scream. Something in the air blew past me, invisible and enveloping, freezing me in uncertainty and fear as Asato stormed past me. Like seeing the stair door closed and locked by my mom, trapped upstairs by her anger and away from that anger, not minding the divide until my bladder was beyond waiting. I wanted to pound the door. But there was no door out here to aim at, just tingling fingers as I clutched them one fisted hand on top the other and searched where Asato was to figure out what it could be.

Yana had jerked to a stop himself, then stumbled forward, nearly falling. He shot a look over at Asato, who was grinning proudly, laughing at Yana tripping.

The feeling that had just struck me was gone. I shook my head. Bad feelings that strong were never for something like that. Being able to have a general feel for vibes around me wasn't new for part of me. One picked up on when things were going south real quick when you lived with someone like my mom and her fluctuating emotions. However, those piercing feelings were more...terrifying when I figured out why I had them. Top contenders paired up with a nightly dream I actually remembered when I woke up. Like...

An example failed to make itself clear, pulling away quickly when an image of my mom in the front seat of the van drew its way forward. It was the first time I think I saw her during this week. Things circulating around her, but never seeing her. Like pounding that stair door.

I inwardly reached out at that, trying to help and ease a different sense of terror, pulling up all the best times of my mom and Yuu taking care of me. Spoiling me. Having fun. Fear pushed me away, a sense of obligation and kindness kept the shield up, curiosity and desire slowly let me in, slowly letting the memories of family spill over...even if a hunger inside of me grabbed them up quickly. Persistent pain lingering in the background swelled and faded away. I felt far more at ease than I had in days.

"—plan do you think Master Genkai will think of for the tournament winners? I hope I get the chance to take a hit at her apprentice," Asato said wistfully. "Been itching to try to take a swing at him for a while now. His name is pretty well known on the streets, even here a couple towns over from where he is. Be fun to fight the champ."

She's important. I perked up and quickly caught up with them to listen to what they were talking about. A fight? I suppose Asato was the type to do things like that. He had said when I first met him that one of his favorite things to do was attend big martial arts tournaments. I never asked if he participated. Yuu was always so against that himself, that I didn't think any friends he had would be the kind to seek out fights.

"If you insist on it." Yana shrugged. "I'm not looking forward if there's a swing at me. We'll find out Saturday night at Yojigen Mansion what Master Genkai is helping us plan out to take him down. Kaito's got some ideas already."

"A fight?" I was stunned, dumbfounded at this. "Yuu is helping you and Asato figure out a strategy in a fight?"

Yana's head swiveled down at me and Asato let loose a swear word, before swearing again at realizing he swore in front of me. A little kid. Kid. Pah.

"Strategy. Strategize. It's a battle of noggins, playing it smart." Yana tapped at his temple. "Kido wasn't talking...what's the word for it?"

A dry voice answered. "Literally."

"That's it. Literally."

Recognizing the familiar, unamused voice, I lit up and spun around to see my older brother.

"Yuu!" I bounced over and jumped up on him easily. He shifted his weight for me. Piggybacks were amazing and there was only a short window of opportunity to enjoy them, thus, they screamed every reason to do just that. Plus, just awesome. Growing age and weight were all very good reasons adults gave to not give you a personal ride. And those younger than you insisting a ride as well. But my dad went for as long as possible with his eldest child. I shifted on Yuu, gripping on myself so he didn't have to. "You're on a team?"

"Of sorts," he answered. Yuu's curly haired head turned to look in Yana and Asato's direction. While Yana looked the same as ever, tilted head and spacey faint amusement at the world, Asato swallowed.

"She was walking behind us," he said weakly.

"So Genkai is the coach? What kind of team is it? Who else is on the team with you, Yana, and Asato? When's the first game? Or is it a match? Tournament? I want to go to the first one. Is it this Saturday?"

"It's a closed practice," Yana responded. He shoved his hands back into his pockets, smile tilting up on that tilted head of his. I grinned. Tilted, tilted, tilted. Yana was like a living Leaning Tower of Pisa. Or the landmark Leaning Silo of Oelwein. I'll stick with the tower. It's still leaning strong. The silo took a tumble after about fifty years. "Doors shut. So, closed. Sorry, little Kaito. I think we're meeting up at your place before the practice if it makes you feel any better. You can still see your brother and us."

"Awww! Fine. Oooh! I can make noodles! You've got your pay on the last essay you did, Yuu! Let's get noodles and tuna and this mushroom stuff, it'll taste good, promise! And full of carbohydrates! Good for athletes!"

"Is this one from that Akari girl in your class?"

"You liked the rice," I whined loudly. And Yuu chuckled.

"I didn't say we weren't going to get the ingredients, Rin."

"Yes!" I pumped my fist in the air.

Yana and Asato laughed, Yana easily teasing Yuu about spoiling me as they continued walking and I continued piggybacking. I was younger. The baby of the family. They were supposed to be spoiled. Just not a spoiled brat and Yuu would tell me if I was that. He said I was a younger sister who worked hard and deserved being spoiled. Well, he never said it to me. I heard him telling our mom. It had been some argumentative conversation over him getting me chocolate ice cream. And our dad and him. But Yuu refused to talk about our dad. I poked at Yuu's freckled cheek.

"Saturday is going to be awesome," I declared.

* * *

Mentioned  
Leaning Silo of Oelwein - An actual thing from Iowa that started leaning in the 60's and finally fell in 2007


	4. Part 1: Chapter 4

"Kaito?" Yana's tall head of hair slowly came into view from the door. Cautiously, he peered into the bathroom, voice tinged in concern and uncertainty. His eyebrows rose over droopy eyes as his gaze shifted between us. "You've been gone for a long time, the pasta dish is getting cold and you wanted to be punctual. Did something happen…to your glasses?"

Yuu shifted to look at the taller teen, ruffling at my hair before turning back to me. Fear and panic appeared to have reentered and pinched at his eyes. I gave a tiny squeeze, worried and trying to reassure him. His mouth twitched upwards and he ruffled the top of my head again. "Don't worry about it, Rin. This is on me. Go on ahead. There is a specially made meal going cold, which you insisted upon making."

"A break from our bathroom break," I questioned. At the lines in his face lightening with this quirk of the mouth, I smiled. Much better. It didn't mean I wasn't going to worry about Yuu being worried and try to figure it out too. Not that I'm too sure on what Yuu was doing when I burst in about being treated by him. Making this kind of difficult. But hey, this was Mushiyori City.

Except, not too sure on why that mattered or what it meant.

My breath left from my lungs rapidly, noise exiting through my mouth without my say so. I jerked back, looking for the cause, air burning my eyes. Yana himself drew back in stunned surprise. His hand hovered in the air from where it had just rested on top my head in a copy of my older brother's actions. Copy. The word rattled my brain, the rest of my body already reeling from feeling as though something distantly off and not right penetrated under my skin. And then pulled. Pulled out. Like the click-and-flash of a camera stunning and surprising.

"Little Kaito?" Uncertainty once again flickered across his face, looking back for direction, then back to me. Behind me. Yuu. What did Yana do? What was that, what did he do that my older brother probably knew about with that look? I tensed, ready to defend Yana to him, say I was fine to make sure Yuu didn't remain upset and lose a friend ranking high enough to invite here. Silence followed. Raised eyebrows over those droopy eyes flicked back behind me, furrowing down in returning his sights at me. Yana didn't appear as though he was getting any protective motions directed at him.

What the…?

Not wanting to believe the thought that shot through my head, I skittered quickly away, not looking back at Yuu, afraid to see anything confirmed.

Something was up.

Yuu…approved that?

I nibbled at my pasta slowly at first, mulling it over and watching my older brother. He ate at his plate indiscriminately. No care of tasting it, just automatically moving it to his mouth with no sense of time. Not slow, not fast. Just absently eating it. Yuu's small eyes were trained on the edge of his plate, his mind clearly elsewhere.

Asato was too busy digging into his food after we returned to the table, but once he paused to take a drink he noticed Yuu's distraction and Yana's more alert posture. I looked away and stuffed a far too large bite of my gooey noodles into my mouth. Rude or not, I didn't really want to bring it up again so soon after springing it on Yuu. The lump of what should have been yummy goodness hurt going down.

"I need to get something before we head out." Yuu's voice didn't hold much intonation as he stood upon finishing. Then, he shifted to me and my chest relaxed under his warm gaze. "We might need to write that one down."

I perked up at that. "You liked it then?"

Yuu's mouth cracked upwards and I grinned.

"I'll get the dirty dishes," I declared. And I snatched his empty plate before he had the chance to pick it up. "Go on. I got this. One less thing for you to worry about, right?"

A large hand came up at that, a finger pushing his glasses up as he didn't quite hide his surprise behind the habitual movement. Er, whoops. The words of me doing something for him, not him doing for me or us doing it together, me doing something that wasn't in the handmade and tiny birthday gifts; the words may have been a bit much. I disregarded it.

No matter what Yuu thought he did to me, was holding himself responsible for, I certainly wasn't going to punish him over it. He didn't deserve it. No matter what he thought. He deserved better. Proof was in how much he was blaming himself and frantically, wheels turning all through eating, trying to figure out how to correct it, to figure it out. Always caring for me. I wanted, needed to return the favor. I could see how much what happened earlier in the bathroom was bothering him. If what I did now bothered him, it was more of jolting him out of his thoughts. I hoped.

"Let me do this."

"Cool," Asato said before Yuu could format a response. He shoved his plate toward me and smiled. "I like you kid. Let's get going."

"Rin, Asato."

There was a wince as he stood. A wince not caused by anything physical that I could see. I grinned as he glanced back at me. "Except that," he grumbled. "No one calls me that. No one. Only my mother calls me by my given name. Sometimes."

"I could call you kid," I suggested brightly.

Asato yelped. "That's worse!"

But honestly, I really could call him that. Part of me really could. They were all so much older and so much younger than me. I frowned to myself. It didn't feel right to call any of them that. Remembering my past life, even if it felt as any other part of me, didn't truly make me older in age. Just…more memories packed in?

I caught sight of Yuu's sudden pallor, his eyes widening at me, probably realizing part of me could be older than him. Or perhaps how close my joke hit on what we were talking about earlier. Both? A realization and my slip of referring to things changed.

Something not quite right pulled at me, niggling the back of my mind as I cleaned up. It echoed, like a déjà vu. Not worry for Yuu, which baffled me. I was worried about how he was taking me finally telling him some of what had been going on with me this week. We'd get through this. I felt that most assuredly. I looked over to the closed bedroom door, worried and hoping friends supporting him would help.

But…

But the something not right, tugging at pay-attention-to-this-odd-feeling strands in my head, were like a couple days ago when Yana stumbled over his own two feet. Like when Yana went to tussle my hair earlier in a familiarity more suited for my older brother. Who…may have approved it. The tussle? No, something else, rang through my head twining together with this not right feeling, something's wrong.

Wrong.

Throwing the towel aside, I rushed across the apartment.

"Only case of a past life we know about in—"

"No," Yuu's voice snapped in anger. What was going on? "That's Rin. I—"

My fist hit the door, simultaneously sliding it open with a slam.

"Yuu! Yuu, are you—"

My words completely left me.

The desk chair let out a terrible screech. Yuu hurried to stand and move.

"Rin."

Small eyes, wide and terrified.

Asato swore, scrambling up from where he lounged on Yuu's bed.

"Kaito. Kaito what do you…? Kid you have the worst timing."

"No. She clearly felt something earlier with me. And felt your territory the other day when you tripped me," I said. Not me, not me, not me. I, the other I, the I swimming in clothes far too big, ones of the style Yana preferred and was wearing earlier. That I stared at the I that was me. Yana wasn't missing from the room. Yana was— "Her past life had some sixth sense, but nothing that led to any spiritual energy like we've heard about Kuwabara. There was some dream and feeling about…a plane attack on the Twin Towers? Not bad timing Kaito. She probably sensed my territory again."

Territory.

Spiritual energy.

Sixth sense.

This…this is what Yuu meant. About fantasy things. Perspective. Change.

Mushiyori City. Territories.

"Rin."

Yuu hadn't moved from trying to block my sight of the other I. His small eyes still wide in a refusal to believe. Like he refused to believe when Kurama beat him at his own game.

"She's freaked out by you Yanagisawa," Asato complained and reached over to knock the other me over the head. Yana rubbed his head, giving Asato a sore look before giving me a what-can-you-do shrug of a shoulder. "There. See, nothing weird going on here kid."

I stared. Obviously there was everything weird going on here.

"Rin." Yuu crouched down to put us eye to eye. He pursed his lips for a moment, then spoke, stumbling through the words, what he wanted to say to me.

"I only wanted to…clarify things you told me earlier and if the idea of a past life was a coping method because I am the one who touched your… Yana has…an ability that allows for him to…be you. He has never, I never allowed him to do so before because I am your big brother and I would never, but I needed to… You're my little sister, I…"

He took a breath. "There are people gaining abilities, territories, in Mushiyori City lately. Yana happens to be one of those people and his ability is to copy others. And Kido there, he has found he has an ability for shadows. I was trying to determine, with Yana helping, about your idea of remembering a past life or if it could be a territory or something I…"

They used their abilities to kidnap Yusuke by stepping on his shadow and telling him he had to punch a fake friend. Yana changing back after being my favorite anime character of all time, Kuwabara. The scene of it flooded over me. A glowing punch sending Yana twisting back through the air. Yana, Asato, Yusuke, Kuwabara, and all the rest drawn out for entertainment. A well-loved show of years.

YuYu Hakusho.

* * *

There. Here it was. This was the moment I realized where I was. To what happened. If not how.

This moment.

With memories surfacing of a beloved show, any first reactions of Yuu handling a past life idea badly earlier in the bathroom came as less of a surprise. As a fan, I'd know. I'm not exactly the only person Yuu knows who has a past life after all. The person Yuu has always wanted to show up and prove could be defeated. I made the connection right away. But my mind stalled and failed to filter.

* * *

A show. Years old. Not based off real life. A whole fictional world.

I stumbled back, mouth gapping as I tried to put those familiar animated versions with the three teenagers in front of me.

I don't belong here.

I don't belong in this world.

Like Kurama.

Yuu's hand slipped lifelessly from my shoulder. "What?"

Oh. Oh. I said that aloud, didn't I?

He was gob smacked. Disbelief and fear and anger and grieving, everything was covered by blankness. A tiny hand reached out for his shoulder and he didn't move. I panicked at the sight of water welling up and making his eyes glassy behind his glasses. He didn't seem the tiniest aware he was on the verge of tears in front of me.

"Yuu? Yuu?"

He remained unresponsive.

"Yuu?"

Yana shifted from behind him. "Uh, hey Kaito?"

"I thought you were relieved about finding out the truth of what was going on with us. Of why your classmate was so, you know, with the test scores and how he is with everyone," Asato said. He fidgeted on his feet, but pressed on, hopeful. "So isn't this good to—"

"Minamino? Minamino," Yuu spat. I yanked my hand back, terrified of this sudden reaction. It wasn't like my older brother at all. The anger and fingers curling into fists that shook. A body that shook. Violence hummed under his skin, rising up in waves.

Asato skittered back, his small mouth and eyes going wide. On the other side, Yana tilted closer. "Hey. Kaito. Take a breath and—"

"He stole the place of a soul, he should die! He should be dead! He stole it! And there were no consequences! Everything comes out smelling roses for Minamino, for that bastard! School and coming out on top! Everything goes his way, nothing and no one holding him accountable! He comes out above everything I work so hard for! At school! Being favored! Family! He offered his life to save someone he loved and survived, none the worse when he got her back! And I risked my existence, my soul…"

He crumpled, rear landing harshly onto the floor, hunching over crooked knees. Asato looked even more freaked out at the sight of Yuu in the fetal position. Despite freezing up, I wrapped myself around where he was curled up. Muffled, his voice quivered, breaking off with thick sobs. "I risked… Threw my very being… I gave up everything that ever was me to fix what I did. I lucked out with Master Genkai, but… Rin. You have to live with it. With what I…"

Pressing his head tighter against his knee, hunkering down, his eyeglasses bent haphazardly and then tumbled through the air. They clattered beside where I clutched Yuu for all he was worth. All I could do was hold him and stare at the glasses I'd snitched off his face less than a half hour ago. Ages ago. Upright, but upside-down, with a temple arm half folded in. Droplets and fog covered the lenses. Covered it, as shown by the light of the room.

Tiny fractured rainbows twinkled up at me.


	5. Part 2: Chapter 1

Right now, this very moment, climbing abilities are the top of the top. My eyes lit up at spotting a loose screw and my small fingers wiggled in and got a grip. Yes. Score. While my balance was always something I could list up high on advantages, climbing was just something you did, everyone did as a kid. Level of difficulty varied, sure, but on the playground, every kid climbed as high as they could at some point.

This was a little different than the playground.

I shifted my toes and glanced down a moment to make sure the thin strip of wood I'd found was still holding. The faraway ground was a blur in the distance, not the focus of my current mindset. I muttered to myself to keep focus, talking to myself over what I was doing to keep it, highly intermixed with my worry and unease and complete anxiety on what exactly was going on inside.

Digging and poking around the first level did no good except for all the grime and dirt, the reddening of my fingers and fists. Of course no one answered the locked front door. With the blank papers attached and forgotten about. That really helped keep my panic abay. Sarcasm. Something someone claimed I did every time I kept my cool and politeness when answering them.

I snorted, then caught myself before I gave the 'Ha' to go with it. Taking a calming breath, I settled the negative feelings and memories seeping through in refreshing myself with our mom, me and Yuu's mom saying goodbye earlier tonight—or last night—after she made a nice meal for us to share together before she left for work. And my focus of this late night venture swam back to the forefront of my mind.

Yuu.

I yanked at the corner. Wooden splinters pricked at my skin. But it gave enough to fill me with renewed strength. I scrambled up and centered myself before wrenching it open with an ear splitting crack. I giggled to myself, high on the reward and recalling my youngest brother falling straight through a hole to the basement due to not listening to anyone about jumping—repeatedly, I might add—on the flimsy wooden board that covered it.

Oh yeah, climbing abilities are top of the top.

I paused.

There's a pun in there somewhere.

Shrugging it off, I shifted around the opening, now hanging outwards, more focused on getting inside to Yuu rather than paying too much mind to the drop. Blank pieces of paper could just mean game over, but I'd been jarred awake in a very real pain. Hunching over on myself and a dream I remembered. An uncommon occurrence, but my remembered dreams stood out as though they competed with a bulk of others. This dream was no different. It was a nightmare.

Sharp features thrown into mostly shadow, sparks of light glinting from calculating eyes, faint energy humming as the figure towered over Yuu frozen stiff on the floor. My older brother's features were cast in a pastel dim of death encroaching. And there floated between, a glowing orb of light just beyond his outstretched rigid arm and within the grasp of the pliable fingers shifting thoughtfully above. Closing the gap.

A nightmare of disturbing realness when I found Yuu missing from our apartment.

Gripping the top of the swinging back-and-forth window shutter, I eased myself around the edge, hurrying to get to the opening and the promise of Yuu inside.

"I swore I hea—It's a little girl!"

Shrieking, I leapt away from the great shadowy thing popping up from inside the world's possibly most grotesque horror film and funhouse carnival mashup of a house.

Twin screams echoed through the darkness.

A huge palm shot forward, fisting about my coat, and yanked.

Stunned, I blinked blearily. A few miscellaneous items toppled over me. Nudging them off of me, I pushed myself up with my arm. Or I tried to. The wall got in the way. Slowly, I realized what had just happened. Straining and displaying muscles well earned, an arm had pulled me inside the creepy building with more than enough strength. I'd flown and tumbled across the floor.

I pushed against the wall and stood up.

Alive.

I didn't fall.

I'm inside.

Inside.

Inside!

Quickly getting over being momentarily stunned from tumbling across the floor, I spun to look for a door. Gathering up enough air to bellow, I jerked to a sudden stop before I could call out to Yuu, a great coughing fit burning through me. I gulped for air.

Tall for a young man, he looked gangly and awkward standing in just his underclothes, this stranger who'd pulled me inside.

Kuwabara. The name swam forward, in awe.

I'd never met him.

My favorite anime character of all time.

I cosplayed him.

A heart of gold. Like my brother Yuu.

Shaking my head to give it clarity, I stared, taking in his features.

He goggled back, hand half raised in uncertainty of assisting in my earlier coughing fit. "Er…" Seeming to get his wits gathered back up before I did, he drew himself up…and began to lecture me.

* * *

My favorite anime character real and scolding me like a little child?

This moment was super embarrassing. And thoroughly captivating to watch.

See, I've managed to impress people around me with how I easily treated 'famous people' like anyone else, because, honestly, they are. Kept my usual calm even about my favorite voice actor. Managed to annoy any guest handler if a certain voice actor spotted me nearby—he'd be guaranteed late to his next panel with us catching up with the other. With a wide grin and eyes lighting up, he would surge through a crowd to greet me with a large hug. Even with a cosplay on, he recognized my voice through the masses. And with spotting me in a certain cosplay once, he drew up and proudly declared his name was now officially attached with YuYu Hakusho.

The fact I'd gotten close to a voice actor for this to happen, caused eyes to go wide around me. So my moment of hacking and coughing in shock at the sight of my favorite anime character that I'd gone to the lengths to cosplay and had been called by his name at local anime conventions, even when not dressed up as such...that was super embarrassing.

I'll pick that though.

Embarrassment is the far better option for a result of shock.

* * *

Swing, swing, swing. I pumped my legs, humming to myself. Words drifted to me and I sat still in the moving motion. "My heart is crushed duh dah dumdah du~um."

The song hovered there, repeating the tiny portion of a chorus, drilling my actions and feelings of the now. I shook my head harshly and hopped off the swings. I didn't want upbeat songs popping into my head. I didn't want to be reminded of why I knew songs like that in another language. Not right now.

I drew in a breath and belted out the first song I thought of in an attempt to get the lyrics and language off my mind. "There's nothing to worry about." Lies. Swallowing, I drew in a larger breath. "There will surely come a day when your love reaches someone!"

Drawing in my fists tight, I scrunched up my face and bellowed out the next lines in punches.

"No matter how hard it is!"

Left foot stomp.

"No matter how much you want to give up!"

Right foot. Stand tall.

"Don't ever stop believing!"

In realization of the chorus, I hesitated at the English. "Carry on, carry out." And my voice trailed off as I miserably mumbled out, "Even if you get a little tired of hurting someone and getting hurt."

Yuu. I did that. Hurt him. He'd been unable to voice what he believed to have done. It wasn't difficult to see the toll it took and would continue taking on him after his falling apart last night.

With a wet draw of air, Yuu had rolled his shoulders back and gazed at me steadily, his puffed eyes the only sign of his breakdown in front of me. Yuu thanked me for telling him what was going on with me, his eyes earnest, and lay a large warm palm on my forearm. Anything inside of me that had regretted the decision ebbed away as my whole body relaxed at his sincerity, comforting touch, and the reassuring words which followed.

Now I know and can look into it. We will get through this.

He'd left soon after with Yana and Asato. Off to their scheduled appointment with Master Genkai. She could possibly offer some speculations over my situation, which rang an echoing truth from the recesses of my mind. I'd been on the edges of sleep by the time Yuu returned. With a faint chuckle escaping him, he'd ruffled my head and told me to go to sleep. The hazy memory of a promise of talking later was the last thing I remember.

But all that Yuu had done today was focus on paperwork. Writing, drawing, crossing off, crumbling, starting all over. The intensity of it reminded me back to several months ago when he'd gone on a huge video game kick all weekend long. Disappeared to the librarian's apartment just down the block, coming back late Saturday night to sleep and to make sure I'd been eating my meals. I'd gone with when he headed off on Sunday as well. It'd been the same week of his first time not at the top of his class, the same week an essay he wrote to be published had been turned away, the same week he'd been attacked in an attempted mugging. He'd only been slightly thankful at the fact he doesn't keep his yen in his wallet.

His actions of today, before I headed out to the park for the usual monthly park day, trying to pretend everything was normal to not worry the rest and attempt at some lighthearted fun, well, his actions made sense. Yuu tends to streamline his focus on something else within his control when he's stressed. Enjoys it in a way I think.

"Well don't stop singing on my account, dummy."

I spun, startled at the voice. Standing on the swing I'd abandoned was Tsukihito. It was a little late to take up Aoi's offer. Everyone else was gone. Baffled at his appearance, I stared.

"See? Dummy. Ha." With a jerk of his arms, the swing moved in a small haphazard motion rather than smoothly. He grinned at me though. "You should see your face right now."

And stared for too long apparently and according to him.

"Aren't'cha gunna be all try to make friendly chitchat like ya've been doing all week? Well it ain't gunna work."

"Huh?"

"You're just playing nice to figure out what world changing thing your big dummy brother turned down and I"—he stressed the word proudly—"got."

I blinked at him. "No," I answered simply.

That hadn't been the reason at all. I'd just begun noticing more and more how withdrawn he was from anybody else. His lashing out and muttered insults were more loneliness than real anger, because it all seemed aimed at seeing happy groups of friends. I never really forgot what he had said, it niggled intermittently in the back of my head since he'd mentioned it. Yet sadness at a boy believing the world was full of idiots with this odd mixture of hope and hopelessness sparking through the angry jealously front…it felt more important.

Tsukihito stared for too long this time. "I just thought it'd be nice to say hello to you. That's all," I answered frankly.

The boy kept staring, eyes widening, mouth hovering open for a long moment. Then he snorted and snapped. "Proof you are just a dummy and a silly little munchkin." But he didn't follow it up with anything to explain why. Instead, he cleared his throat and glanced down as he hopped off the swing. Paper crinkled when he shoved his hands into his pockets.

I stared up at him as he walked toward me, curious at the curious expression on his face. "Were you supposed to move or something?"

"No. Not that I know of. Why?"

Tsukihito thrust a thick piece of paper at me, staring. "Here. For you. I don't get it. What's so special about a pair of dummies?"

Confused, I turned the folded and slightly crumpled paper in my small hands. It'd been clearly ripped out of a book. Tsukihito pressed close, clearly wanting to see what it was, which surprised me. It was only a folded bit of paper. He could have looked at this clearly passed on message anytime he wanted. This was a message sent from someone he respected, a warning rang inside of me. I didn't make a move away from him though. If he was told not to look by someone who caused such a feeling to run through me, then looking at this could only be good for him. Even if it sent apprehension through me.

I opened it. And it took me a while to realize what I was looking at.

Kaito Rin. Born of Yoshida Akio and Kaito Tomoko.  
Sibling to Kaito (formerly Yoshida) Yuu and—

There was a thick series of lines covering the rest, scrawled largely across the paper overtop the neat tiny writing. I squinted to make out some of the rest. My exact birthday was difficult to read. But there were notes on my mischievous personality, penchant for climbing and physical something, open friendliness and optimism, adoration to Yuu, remarks to…home life I think. It was a rundown on all major points of me.

The thicker mark over the top of the neat textbook writing, permanent marker it looked like, smudged slightly with the section it circled on the bottom.

Tsukihito gasped from behind me.

"Woah. Amazing," he said breathlessly. "But come on. What is really what is so special about a dummy anyway?"

I stared, comprehension slowly coming over me.

Within the circle was my date of death, for Monday, not tomorrow Monday, but last Monday.

Within the circle was the cause of my death. An accident. That removed my soul and cracked my skull. Despite being returned to body, I was lethargic when awake, and the marring my soul obtained led to my passing 39 hours later.

And within the circle was who was to be sent for the collection of my soul, Sayaka. A side note informing them I would be reluctant to leave the person who caused my death. Yuu.

Not true, not true, not true. This never happened. I was fine. Alive. This had to be the worst joke, like teenagers who thought they were funny when writing out disturbingly elaborate things in a Death Note. Why would someone ever be this mean?

But then there was the phrase 'You're welcome' written overtop of most the paper. Underneath the portion that had been circled was a signature. 'Sensui'.

Everything inside of me screamed. Terrified. A horrible feeling washing over me in several, many, infinite waves.

"No." A single word of defiance, disbelief, and denial against everything about it.

"You haven't even had a chance to meet him," Tsukihito argued. His whole face lit up. "Trust me, he's the coolest adult there is."

He continued rambling on about Sensui's greatness. I stopped listening, trying to wrap my mind around what had just been handed to me. Yuu. Accident. Sensui. The hole. Yuu. His taboo territory. Sensui. The seven. Sensui's Seven. Yuu. Turning such a great offer down. Sensui. Yuu. Oh god Yuu. I was supposed to be... I couldn't tell him that! Yuu would be... Oh god.

* * *

Mentioned  
Ai Wa Katsu (Love Will Win) by Kan, released in 1990 - English lyrics as found via Internet  
Swing Swing by All American Rejects, released in 2002  
Death Note first came out in 2003 (manga)


	6. Part 2: Chapter 2

As much as I wanted to watch for longer, I wanted to get away more. At least, at that moment. I shifted my feet. How fast could his substantially longer legs pump and catch up to me? Panic rumbled up through my throat, squeezing. I would feel awful about being rude, but the growing need to find Yuu was steadily eating away at my first stunned reaction and fascination.

His narrow eyes bulged with a breath and a socked foot stomped at me, his hands flying up and waving wildly as he continued. The large palms and calloused fingers talked just as loud as his facial expressions. I watched his feet and hands carefully, slowly bracing my legs to take off, listening for any audible change in response to what I was attempting to do. His voice was scratchy, but deep, surprisingly not yelling in favor of increasing the speed of his tirade.

He'd probably slide around sharp turns. With those socks on.

I slide my foot sideways, preparing to take off. And his voice petered off to nothing. Eyebrows pinched over his narrow eyes, jawbone working slightly, the sharp features of his face tilted in consideration.

"Hey. What are you doing climbing up and in this house anyway kid?"

Surprised, I blinked up at him.

"Rin." Would he let me run off if I told him? Or possibly lead me to Yuu? It seemed obvious now that I could possibly trust him in this moment. Before he was, well, worried about me. Almost like Yuu was at the park in going off on a safety lesson to follow. Only Kuwabara spoke with motion too. "My name is Rin."

Everything on his face lit up, mouth turning upwards. "Kuwabara. Kazuma. Most everyone calls me by Kuwabara. But is everything okay?" The delight of my introduction and his own fled his face as though it'd never been there. "I'm a pretty trustworthy guy, ya'know? A kid your age…what's going on to getcha all worried to do such dangerous stuff so early in the morning?"

"Climbing isn't dangerous. There's the soul and life of…" How do you know? A nightmare dream, a former life's trickling memories, a story come real or real made into story flashed through my head and I faltered. Telling might not be the fastest option. Explanations would be needed. I shook my head and looked up at him beseechingly. Leave it simple. Emotional. "I have to find my brother."

His eyebrows flew up. "Your brother? Er, well, I guess all big sisters can go to extreme lengths for their brothers," he mumbled to himself. Then, he visibly winced and pulled wobbly lips up at me, quick to correct with nervous laughter cracking through it. "I'm not saying anything against it, I swear! I have a big sister myself! Shizuru! She's uh, she's the best!"

At such a vehement insistence that trilled up to terrified, I couldn't help but let out a snort and giggle.

Startled by my reaction, he suddenly grinned with his whole face. "Heh. You're real cute when you smile. Okay. So, Rin. I know you're the big sister here, but an extra hand never hurts, right? Or foot. I got some big gahemoths."

Kuwabara lifted up a foot and waggled it. For a startled moment, he stared and then put his foot back down and shuffled. Suddenly bashful, he ducked his head to the side and scratched just behind his ear, checks flushing with pink. He'd forgotten that he only wore his undergarments during this entire encounter, hadn't he? I pursed my lips and tried not to get entertained by the shear character of him again.

"Do you think you can wait a little bit?" He tilted his head, straining his ear to hear the muffled voices just beyond the only door in this room. "My clothes and shoes are just in the other room, close to being done. It'll take a while though, because there's this conversation I have to be part of in there soon. I swear on my honor I'll be back, with extra feet, in like, ten minutes. Fifteen tops."

Minutes? I gapped at him. His tone was so earnest and promise to me so stalwart that something inside leaned toward it a bit. Everything in me apologized to him. There would be no waiting and doing nothing when I already wasted time.

"Sorry," Kuwabara said, full of genuine distress. "It's kind of one of those serious issue things and Master Genkai is part of it so… But I swear! I'll be back to help you find your brother. If he's still here or somewhere else near here, I'll help you."

"I can wait."

Letting out a sigh that slumped his shoulders and relaxed his tall frame, Kuwabara nodded. "Okay. Good. Sounds like a plan. All right. So, quicker I leave, the quicker I come back. See you in a little bit, Rin."

With a wave behind his back, he disappeared into the other room, door not quite closing fully behind him. I double checked for any other exits and scurried over to the cracked door to peer through. There were seven people. My eyes quickly spotted Asato and then found Yana in an ill-fitting school uniform, Kuwabara storming over to demand it back. But no Yuu.

A row of doors appeared to be the only exit out of the room all of them were in with no Yuu. Looking back to the group, they were all being drawn to a monitor, faces intent. One stood out from the rest, chilling me to my toes, their eyes going up to sweep across the surrounding area in a decidedly wary way. I gulped and hid fully behind the door.

A face from my nightmare. A face towering over my older brother, Yuu defenseless. And a person something inside of me deeply assured could be horrifically dangerous.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I chanted inside my head. I'm not here, I'm not here, I'm not here. You can't see me, you can't see me at all. I'm not here. A tingling feeling buried down into my veins. Cautiously, hopeful at my body's response to my mantra, I took another look through the crack. No one was looking. The conversation with the person on the monitor was sufficiently distracting.

Slipping through the open door, I darted along the edge of the room. I paused at the first in the row of doors. No shouts. No screams. Made it. I glanced back. The broad back caught my eye, despite switching from a wife beater to a faded blue school uniform.

Sorry.

I can wait.

I didn't say I would wait.

And I scampered on down the stairs as fast as I could to find my missing brother.

* * *

Being mistaken as a big sister wasn't necessarily wrong. Of course, at this point, you would know why.

But I'd also always been the younger sister, trusting Yuu completely. And I feel that with him, it was, it could be effortless to cave in and soak his caring affection up. That was huge. The idea it was possible and I could, that was huge. Perhaps too tall of an order.

With everything Yuu piled on himself, I couldn't seem but help take care of him and try to shoulder some of his burdens. I couldn't help it. Being able to understand how he was as a responsible older sibling that resonated inside of me, I was able to see all the worry and care so clear on his face. And if anything, it made me far more protective than I'd ever been before.

* * *

At the sound of my name, so close and frantic, I startled. Yuu. The source of my own frantic thoughts. Curls coming loose and undone, a scrap of paper sticking out of his pocket, he quickly strode the last few steps toward me. Fear shot through me. He knew. He can't know. It'd…it'd… Just no. He can't know. Hurriedly, I clasped my hands behind my back and stuck the paper down the edge of my yellow jeans.

Yuu shook his head, almost abashed. Then he smiled, warm and relieved, shaking his head at himself and easily moved beside me to ruffle my hair. I tilted toward him. After his distraction today following his breakdown and subsequent meeting, I was glad to see my older brother back to normal. And without the bombshell that Tsukihito handed me.

"Lost track of time?" I made a grin grow wide on my face, nudging him, trying to tease to keep it light hearted and normal to get him to lose the slight pinched worry between his brows. It had the opposite effect. Yuu's faint smile faded, losing composure. Before I could open my mouth to try a different joke, he answered.

"Yes."

The single word answer was strained and my forced grin fell.

"I'm sorry. I was late, no, I didn't even make it there. You were waiting this whole time, weren't you." It wasn't toned as a question and I recognized the look in his eyes before they flicked to the side, his head shifting slightly away. I understood the look. I knew and could practically hear his mental reprimands of not showing up, joining us for the last half hour of our day at the park as he always, unfailingly did. Of falling short in a responsibility he felt as an older sibling. I recognized this feeling all too well.

There was no way I was going to even hint at what happened during the time he wasn't there. No way.

No matter how much I was freaking out about it.

"I didn't even realize until Mom asked after waking up," he muttered, disgusted with himself.

I jabbed him in the side, scowling. "Stop that," I scolded. Taken aback, Yuu gaped slightly at me. "You're my heart of gold brother. Even if you fall prey to being human, you do absolutely nothing wrong Yuu. You're always looking out for me, honest and sincere, letting me tag along to things, maybe annoyed, but always welcome to my company, warm and concerned for all the right reasons, never angry with me, and the upmost important thing…you buy me ice cream."

Startled, a laugh coughed out of him, eyes crinkling to amusement over the self-loathing. "Ice cream, Rin?"

"Yes." I nodded firmly, glad it worked. "The ice cream."

The smile lingered. But as we continued walking to the apartment, it disappeared into a contemplative look. Shifting his eyeglasses by the corner arm, Yuu slowed his steps, then squatted to my height. I stopped to look at him. Both curious and wary.

"You are not like Kurama," he said in a careful tone of voice. I went slack, my eyes unable to look away from him and his declaration, feeling like an utter lie. But I didn't have a chance to respond before he continued. I couldn't speak.

"You overheard our…conversation yesterday. His past life is his life. There is no remembering a past life, it is all him, just him, his history. The comparison came from…he has not always looked as he does now. There is no Minamino, only Kurama. Kurama living through Minamino." His face twisted oddly at that, as though he wanted to say more on the subject, before he refocused on me. "But you are still you. You are not from another world like him. There's been quite a few strange things going on as of late. Remembering a past life…it is strange, but not the strangest one I have heard. Still Rin. Only…more. Like Yana. Or Kido. Or…me. You are still you Rin. You belong here in this world."

I moved uneasily, the muffled sound of crinkling paper loud in my ears.

No I don't. I really, doubly do not belong here.

I had thought of the connection between Mushiyori City and territories before. Even more after I witnessed one firsthand. If I had a territory, ignoring the timing of Yuu's experiment and my following nap, recalling past lives could make sense. People said things like that. Could believe in reincarnation and past lives and blaming or praising luck of their current life off of karma of the last one. Say 'In a past life, I was probably a…' fill in the blank. But my remembered past life knew, and loved, the story of YuYu Hakusho.

Remembering the past is one thing. Remembering the future is another.

Wrong time.

I reached back and touched where the paper was hidden. The paper torn out from a guidebook for a grim reaper to have at hand when ferrying a soul of someone deceased to the Spirit World. Mine. And last Monday, it claimed for me.

Wrong world.

Yuu can't know. He can't know I'm supposed to be dead. By his own hand. Yuu can't know. Can't. I wasn't going to shatter and devastate him.

'You're welcome. Sensui.'

I definitely was not going to have him see those terrifying marks of a pleasantry.

I was not going to let Sensui use this. Use me. According to Tsukihito, the man had already expressed interest in Yuu and possibly tried to recruit him before. And I certainly was not going to express any thanks of being alive thanks to him. He had an agenda. One that killed and would kill people. I knew it. Deep inside of me, I knew he was someone to keep far away from. I was not going to allow my brother to be crushed and directed into Sensui's agenda.

Clenching behind my back, my fist tingled something fierce at the idea of Yuu being used and killed for this man's agenda.

His concerned voice broke my thoughts. "You hear me Rin?"

Startled, I blinked over at him. Determination swelled through me at his face. And then my whole hand thrummed with my pulse. With a quick shake, I opened and closed my hand at my side, trying to get normal feeling back. Cocking his head, Yuu's small eyes peered down near the edges of his frames at my hand, confusion wrinkling his forehead at it.

I shook my head. I'm the younger one here, I reminded myself. Yuu's always looked out for me.

Was there anything wrong with me looking out for him?

I gave another little shake of my hand and the tingling sensation faded for the most part.

"Okay," I answered softly. Let him have some semblance of reassurance after feeling like he's messed up and let me down lately. I pressed close up against him, grasping. A longer arm wrapped around me. Relishing the feeling that pooled through me, I gripped his shirt under the sports jacket tightly. "I belong here. I just…I just have a strange thing like Yana does."

A breathy little exhale came from Yuu. "Yes," he confirmed.

Clearly he didn't like this.

"And like you," I quickly said. Yuu went completely still. I pressed on, hopeful. "Can I see?"

Small eyes flew wide and he snatched his arm away, pulling back, his face starch white. Alarms rung through my head at the sight of his horrified face. The scream echoed through my head, remembering the view from too far up, seeing two others standing agape near him and a smaller person laying on the floor.

"NO."

"Sorry." The apology blurted out immediately. "Sorry. I'm sorry."

Eyes squeezing shut, Yuu dropped his head to his chest. Groaning, he rubbed a hand under his glasses, then dragged it down his face. He peered back up to me. "No. I'm sorry, Rin. I am…handling this poorly. It's not your fault. I…"

He faltered.

"I've already seen it, haven't I?" I ducked my own head, not wanting to see the emotion on his face. "Last Saturday when I went in the bedroom about the ice cream. Sorry. Can…can you tell me? Please?"

Hesitatingly, I played with the extra fabric of his shirt and peered up at him. Distracting with humor hadn't worked, trying to reassure him hadn't worked, switching the topic from my strange thing to his strange thing definitely didn't work. Maybe having him talk about things out loud would help. Air it out, figure out things to everything going on to work through this like he said he would. Except I was helping. Or trying.

Yuu studied me with some surprise to my silent pleading. Uncertain, the fear pinched across his brows, torn toward being evasive for a brief moment. I knew the look from the couple times I'd asked about our dad. The single thing he never talked to me about. Refused to talk about. And with the look that crossed his face, that aching look, I don't ask about. Hoping he'd go for it and it'd help, I kept beseeching him with my eyes. His shoulders sagged.

"Taboo. The game of Taboo I enjoy playing from time to time is more real than it should, enforcing consequences to breaking the rules. When I win the game, it's over and the biggest effect ends. Violence isn't the name of the game, so the aftermath of attempting that…still stings."

I didn't ask him what the consequences were. I already gathered an idea from his spill of words before he broke down crying yesterday. I knew from the paper Tsukihito handed me earlier. I swallowed. Your soul forced out of you.

I still was curious. And seeing him holding back, I tentatively asked, needing to know for myself. "What was different when I entered our room?"

Yuu's breath caught and his throat moved. "I hadn't expected you and… I ended the game and it didn't work. I broke the Taboo myself."

My soul. Marred in some way. His soul. Yuu gave up his soul in hope of ending the biggest effect for me and my soul. "See?" My voice came out watery. I swiped at my face. "A heart of gold brother. So tall and distinguished."

Yuu let out a huff, letting me fluff his undone curls hanging down his forehead, one clump reaching an eyebrow. "As you like saying." A larger thumb swiped the top of my cheek. "But I don't know about that. I will figure this out. We'll get through this. Territories, I am told, are likely temporary. If it perpetuates, well—"

"Stop that." Yuu gaped at the interruption. But I didn't want to see him putting everything on and punishing himself, hurting because of me. "I'm not holding you responsible. Just for the promise you'll stick around the entire time on the next park day."

He blinked. To my joy, his mouth quirked up and he chuckled, ruffling my head. "Promise." Yuu stood and we finished the walk to the apartment. He asked how everyone else was and what sort of antics Aoi was up to today with Natsue. I happily told him, glad to take his mind off his worries. And glad I could momentarily shelve my concerns with the name of Sensui entering the equation.

I could see the faint surprise and gears spinning behind Yuu's small eyes at times. Times I must have done something slightly off. But then he would chuckle at silly things I said and shake his head in amusement when I skipped along backwards in front of him and smile at my reaction to his offer of a piggyback up the stairs of the apartment building. And everything was okay. It was okay with us.

Chest swelling in thick emotion, warm and secure and wanting, I squeezed my arms tight around Yuu from where I sat on his back. A large palm let go of one of my legs to ruffle my head next to his. I pressed our checks close and swiped at his drooping curls.

I'm not letting anyone take my brother away.

* * *

A special call out and thank you to allebiouqruop for reading through previous chapters (1-5) for any grammar and odd mistakes. Nothing major to the story has been changed, but I have updated those chapters with said changes. Allebiouqruop also went through this chapter before I posted, being a great sounding board.


	7. Part 2: Chapter 3

I noticed the chandelier of heads first. Past the view of the obvious table and plants. It swung slightly, shadows playing across the decorative heads. If that's what you wanted to call them. I shivered and slowed my pace, wary of the far too many and large greenery. They certainly didn't look like the plants from the apartment anymore. Even though I recognized the pots, I didn't recognize what was inside of them anymore.

And then I saw Yuu.

My chest hitched.

I ran to where he lay.

"Yuu! Yuu!"

He didn't move one iota, one centimeter, one twitch.

The pastel green orb just out of reach of his outstretched arms sputtered, dimming, and then flashing bright a couple times. It faded back to a faint flickering. Noticing where they had automatically gone toward, I pressed my hands tight to my chest, leaning forward and trying not to breathe too much. Pressing my eyes closed, I opened them for a better look at the orb, the soul, and ignored the pinpricks of moisture tickling at the corners of my eyes. Not seeing anything off, I squinted, carefully studying it and moving around Yuu to do so from every angle I could.

There didn't seem to be anything wrong, but I didn't know what to look for or what was supposed to be considered normal. Were the swirls of movement a good thing? What of the stirring of darker and lighter shades? Or the twinges of creamy white and sea green blues, those shocks of electric yellow and peek of purple in my older brother's soul? My eyes drifted back to his face and my tears trailed hot down my face.

"Yuu."

I hovered near him, feet shifting. I wanted to help him. But I had no idea how. If it would be worse. I clutched my hands tighter to myself, terrified about doing something and recalling words on a page far too well. This was painful. Not doing anything.

There was fear gnawing inside of me. I could see the nightmare lingering here, the ghost of a person looming over me and raised a hand, fingers closing the gap to do nothing or something or… I hadn't seen what followed. Just Yuu. In danger of the very same thing that…

I couldn't finish the thought, horrified by the idea, for him possessing a broken soul, tainted delicately with those nightmare fingers. Even more horrifying was me nearly cementing the event Yuu caused in the depths of my mind. The words were the truth, but it sounded awful, not giving the right viewing of him. Like how the bare facts of how my brother wound up with his foot in a boot. I drove over his foot. Details, details, all the details of a story mattered. He had exited the car when I was still parking, slowly into a space, then complained a cousin was on his foot before I realized what had happened and quickly reversed over his foot again in a joint filling of panic and blame for what I did to my brother.

Gut reaction of wanting to grab and put it back was teaming full of ugly consequences, just as the gut reaction of quickly reversing and thus running a then struggling foot over had one.

I sucked in my breath, digging my hands into my chest, terrified of going through on my initial gut reaction.

Denying Yuu from any help was unspeakable.

How could I not do anything?

How could I do anything?

"Yuu. What do I do?"

I should find help. But who could help with this? Much less trust? Should I have waited upstairs after all? I tried to remember who'd I'd seen, if any clicked in the recesses of my mind to be able to handle something like this. But I would briefly see the broad back of Kuwabara with the group before panicking over the calculating eyes on the sharp shadowy features from my nightmare. Focus. Kuwabara. Not the one who did this to Yuu. Yana and Asato. And, and, and who else was there?

Kuwabara's words floated back to me and I remembered the name brought up in conversation before. Master Genkai. She was upstairs. Some sort of coach is what was brought up, but I knew she was important. Clearly noted as older and experienced with that title. Perhaps she had the ability to handle situations like this. A diminutive older lady screaming with a cleansing white light shining from her hands flashed through my head. It looked alarming, but the picture instead soothed me.

There were all sorts of special abilities inside Yojigen Mansion tonight after all.

I looked up to the ceiling, wincing at the sight of the chandelier.

There was no way I wanted to deal with _that_ upstairs.

For one, I didn't trust myself to handle a face to face meeting so soon well. At all. Despite knowing who he was with memories coming through, he still was the person responsible for removing Yuu's soul. With the possibilities of doing more than just that.

The trumping of many feet echoed both muted and sharp off the walls. I tensed. A loud voice cut through the din of noise. "I swear there was a little girl." There was a snort, another voice ribbing back. "You're a little low on the sensing, ain't no little girl anywhere in here." Kuwabara snipped in return. "Ha! Like you're one to talk. You can't sense jack unless it's for a fight and even then you're crap at it. Look, I promised this girl I'd help her find her little brother." The other voice burst into laughter. "You can't sense anything! You're useless right now Kuwabara! You've already lost the kid you're supposedly helping. Ow! What was that for Grandma?"

I didn't stick around to listen anymore. Through the doorway, the first pair of feet were descending far enough down for me to see the oncoming group. And catching sight of the long hair, I didn't stick around to see the eyes going with it.

Even when I found a spot and peered through the leaves to see what was going on, hoping for Master Genkai to take control of the situation, I couldn't get it out of my head that I was hiding from a completely petrifying person who easily wielded terrifying plants…behind a plant.

He seems a bit distracted at the moment, thankfully, because so am I. I didn't even notice taking my attention off of him or not paying attention to my previous mantra when I snuck down the stairs. My attention, as was everyone else's, was on my older brother. Breathe drawing in, I strained my toes upwards. I stood as tall as I could to peer around the shifting plant. "Stop that," I muttered to it. "I have to see." Its leaves drew toward me and I froze. Quickly, I focused, pulling the tingling feeling and burying it into my veins again. I'm not here, I'm not here.

A step, swish, and shout echo. I quickly push up against the large pot with my hands, straining to see, squinting. The white light seers the room. Long shadows give an even more unsettling vibe to the curves and features of the room. But I can see it.

The small bit of pastel green, Yuu's soul, sinking to his chest and settling back down inside of him.

Air whooshed out of me. Relief. Pure and utter relief. A tear rolled down into the creases of my lips, of my smile. Yuu was sitting back up. Studying the room already, putting it all together, and making some dry comment I couldn't quite hear. I sagged.

Yuu, and his soul, were fine.

* * *

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't belong here.

As a fan, showing up in a story, being involved, alive, with Yuu, on anyone's radar… I've never been high up on anyone's radar. It was baffling, confusing, and terrifying.

Come on, admit it. You would be terrified too.

And if certain people are listening in, well…you already know, don't you? You've already been terrified. While Kurama can be scary and tend to overkill his attacks in flairs of dramatics, the preparation and planning and pulling it off from this person is something else. He was able to force Kurama into killing a child after all.

And that was only a sliver of what he's done and capable of.

* * *

Side one, easy. Side two, not so much. I swung my feet and contemplated the blankness in front of me. Glancing over to the other decorated bookmarks the rest wanted to give, I blew out a puff of air. There was nothing wrong with what I'd done on the other side and I knew I didn't have to do both. But. Yuu deserved something special on this side. Not just a plain 'You're the best' like Aoi scribbled onto his. Maybe something to the fact Yuu had written his own pieces? But it didn't feel right.

A quote!

I perked up at that idea, various ones from Shakespeare swimming to the forefront of my mind. No. Those seemed obvious choices. Something a little different. But book related would be nice. There was something about reading one book is like eating one potato chip. Except, potato chips weren't really Yuu's thing. He'd eat them, but they're weren't something he went out of his way for. And the idea of the quote was it being a treat you couldn't stop eating. Yuu wouldn't like that. Books were as diverse as the food you ate and I think he'd rather I went with the obvious substance of a Shakespeare quote.

"Rin?"

I looked up to see Mitsu waiting still waiting for me and I ducked my head. She and I always walked back together. Even if the others rushed home, to an after school activity, or tagged along with us. It was something I came up with last year since we shared class and activities. Her cousin more often than not ditched things at school early and also walking with her back. We'd waited around a few times before walking ourselves toward home together. Biggest reason heading back together was all in the fun though. And here Mitsu was waiting on me since I can't figure this out.

"Sorry. I know I'm taking up more time after everyone finished the cleanup."

I paused, hearing a slow and steady voice echoing distinctly in my head. Everyone stop. And listen. It is now time to get things cleaned up. No walking, no talking, just listen. It was the voice of an art teacher. Which, made sense with me trying to think of something to decorate the other side of this bookmark.

I should hurry and figure a something special out soon. It was getting time to leave. I can't stay here. Humming, I stared at the blank side and tried to think. Oh! It was a song. Humming it over again, the words finally came forward.

I hope you have found a friend. Closing time. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end. Yeah, I know who I want to…want to take me home.

"It works," I cried out happily.

"What does?"

"The quote! I know what I'm putting on this side now!" I carefully penned the lyrics from the song down, not wanting to smear it, then blew on it. With multiple other colors, I squished long rectangles next to each other like a row of books on a shelf. "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

"Or you'd be left with not finding out what happens if you never finish a book," Mitsu spoke up after a few seconds. She tucked her short hair behind an ear. "It does work. Ready to go soon Rin?"

"Almost. Just need the box to put them into. And tie the ribbon on."

With a twist and fancy little flourish, I smiled at the end result, the mellow yellow color displaying fine loops. Humming to myself, I switched over to something a bit catchier, even if it was early to sing 'The Hottest Summer in the World'. I looked over to Mitsu and waggled my eyebrows. Her face lit up and she started singing it as I cleaned up my things. Can't go wrong with PRINCESS PRINCESS and Mitsu.

Most of our conversation as we walked, wound up about various outrageous birthday things my brother would likely never want to do or appreciate, giggling all the while. By the time we reached our morning meeting place, Mitsu had asked of me, once again, to wish Yuu a happy birthday from her. I said I would and we parted ways.

I looked down to Yuu's present, happiness soaking through me and soaring. "Heh." Hugging it close to my chest, I sprinted off with a hop.

"Hey dummy. Nice skipping."

"Bahack!"

Flinging my arms out, I stopped fast enough not to run into who just popped up in front of me from the bench, managing to keep my balance. Amusement burst out and the popper clutched a hand to their stomach. I couldn't stop myself from smiling though. Being able to see something silly and lighthearted on his face was pleasing to see.

"Hey Tsukihito. Nice try, but you didn't manage to scare me off my feet," I half teased and condescended him. Something in me was looking forward to him doing this again, to see him play and laugh. I rocked back on my heels with grin. "I have excellent balance."

Peering through his bangs at me, Tsukihito blinked, a brief surprise showing on his face. Then he grinned back, straightening, rubbing under his nose. "You know what, I think you're starting to grow on me this past week dummy. Ah-ha!"

From my outstretched arm going back to my side, he made a grab for Yuu's present. With a flick of my wrist, I underhand tossed it, snagging a hold of it with my other hand. At Tsukihito flabbergasted face, I snickered. His mouth snapped shut.

"I take it back." The boy looked away and put his hands behind his head, leaning back casually. Or it would be if he didn't have such a scowl on his face.

"It's for my brother."

"I know, I know. Don't think me a dummy like you. It's all you and the rest yammered on about this morning. The bigger dummy's birthday. Like things like that matter. It's just another stupid day."

That was kind of odd for a kid to say. Most kids anyway. Was it not really celebrated for him? Actually, I can't even recall him bringing it up last year. Or Mitsu mentioning it to us so that we could wish him a good one.

"When's your stupid day?" Wide eyed, his eyes peeked through the crook of his arm to look at me. "So that I know when things don't matter."

"Uh." He stuttered for a bit, then lowered his arms, shrugging and fidgeting. "It was… It was actually last week. When you started talking to me. The day you were… Last Monday."

I was already primed with my answer. "Things matter today then! A very merry unbirthday to you!"

Blinking, Tsukihito stared. A bit of color entered his cheeks. His reaction was adorable and I beamed up at him. He didn't expect these types of things much, did he? That was how Sensui was able to recruit the kid. I pursed my lips. Tsukihito didn't deserve what was going to happen to him. And while I knew full well the wheels were already set in motion, I still wanted to help bring a new exception, besides Sensui, to his belief of being not wanted in life. I found I had grown to like him.

"Dummy," he mumbled and glanced away from me again. An unexpected flash of excitement crossed his face and he twisted around to face me, expectance etched across his typically grumbly sort of face. "Today matters then. Play a video game with me and I'll show you where the real fun is at. Not some cruddy bookmarks."

Twisting, he stuck his hand into his school bag and I caught sight the edge of a game controller. My breath caught, hands clenching together, tingling at how tight I pressed. Naïve, excited, trusting and crying out a plea all wrapped up in feeling the inkling of a territory and seeing the key device to call upon this particular territory. Breathing easier when his hands moved off of the controller, I relaxed.

"Do that again!" Tsukihito's face took up my entire vision and I pulled back, confused. Do what again? Flushed, eyes lit up in glee, body brimming in elation, Tsukihito pulled back and jumped. And crowed up to the sky. What did I do? I barely had time to wonder before he was off again. "This is awesome! No wonder Sensui is interested in you! This is so cool! You're like me! Do it again, do it again! What is it? I didn't get a proper look, come on dummy! Make them do that orangish thing again and show me what your territory does!"

Intent, he stared at my hands, feet bouncing impatiently. I lifted them up and stared at them myself, squinting. They turned orange? All I noticed was they kind of tingled, but that was from fisting them so tightly. Right?

Curious, not quite believing my too small fingers wouldn't just keep looking like fingers, I slowly made fists and tried to get them to feel all tingly again. Focusing on them, I watched for any change, searching for the orange color Tsukihito mentioned. Blinking at swearing to see a speck of something, possibly a trick of the sunlight, I zeroed in on the spot. I just wanted to see if it was or wasn't. With almost a zing, the tingling feeling thrummed the inside of my palms and down to the tips of my fingers.

And my fisted hands were swathed in orange.

But not like from a crayon or fruit. This was closer to describing a very minute sun. Shocking white compressed towards the middle, yellow lining it, and oranges of all shades licking their way outwards.

Slowly, disbelieving, I turned and opened my hands. A pale rim of disc gleam rainbow shone ever so faintly some distance around my hands. Like sun dogs. But it was a full circle. And not cold enough for the air to crystalize. But there it was.

Loud and rambling on without signs of stopping, Tsukihito was far more excited than I could be right now.

Stunned.

I rotated my wrists, not able to tear my gaze away.

This wasn't like Yuu. Or Yana, Asato. Nor Tsukihito.

I mean, I could go along with the memories of another life. It was like a cousin to Yana copying people. My physical appearance didn't change and it was less emulating memories as it was the memories being part of me. For just one person. I could possibly go along with the idea of that being some territory if I wanted.

But this.

Territories weren't…this.

This was more like…more like…

This was more like Yusuke of the story when he was told to point and focus and discovered spirit energy for the first time. After dying. Like I should have.

I didn't know what to think about this.

I lifted my hands up and rotated them again.

But what I felt was a rock in my gut and then an entire mile stretch of gravel road rocks being poured on top of me. I let go of the tingly sensation, shaking my hands out a bit, barely aware of the rest of the conversation. I didn't understand. I couldn't have something like this. I didn't belong in that world. The world of having spirit energy and all that came with it.

The why crashed over me, uncertainty of what came with it terrifying.

Sensui.

Tall, thin, tanned skin. Calm confidence, certainty, and convincing. Powerful with pride and a planner, plotter, positively not persuaded elsewise. And full of vested interest, involvement, and intentions that he'd guarantee I'd be included in all of his manipulations.

It was downright terrifying.

* * *

Mentioned  
Closing time by Semisonic, released in 1998  
The Hottest Summer in the World by PRINCESS PRINCESS, released in 1987


	8. Part 2: Chapter 4

When it was asked about what would happen if Yuu's soul remained outside of his body, I pursed my lips and squeezed my eyes shut, trying to not think about it too much or picture it. I still heard the words and the answer Master Genkai gave wasn't the least bit of a surprise. He'd be dead. I swallowed, squeezing my eyes harder against the sudden tears.

Hearing it said out loud so baldly was chilling. It was apparently why Yuu, Yana, and Asato went to see Genkai. Sensing a topic change from what could happen from a soul removed from a body, particularly my older brother's soul, I swiped the tears from my cheeks and leaned my head out farther to hear and see.

I saw Kurama's face shift before he spoke. It was like he'd received an ah-ha moment. Except it was wrong. He asked Yuu if Yuu had removed his soul on purpose. And Yuu agreed.

My fists clenched, glaring at the person who thought Yuu would ever do such a thing for curiosity's sake. Yuu may be curious and a learner, but he'd never put his life in such jeopardy on purpose like that. I don't appreciate him thinking he understands Yuu. Even if it did turn out that the sharp-faced guy didn't do as I feared from my dream.

The green leaves in front of me shifted and I looked over to see if I bumped the stem, then froze as the leaf, very solidly, thumped me in the middle of my forehead.

I did not move. I did not scream. I did not do anything but stare.

Slowly, very slowly and trying to make no sudden movements, I slid a foot back. It was then I realized my hands were clenched very tightly and they were tingling. Stiffening, I snapped my head down and shook my hands out, trying not to freak out more with the plant moving near me and stepping away because I wasn't going to be able to get rid of the energy if the plant controlled by the demon who could do worse than killing with them and the same one who'd just removed Yuu's soul and it was getting closer!

The energy in my hands flared up. I shoved my fists tight again, trying to contain the sight of it, pulling them close together. It only steadied the flare up.

Panicked, I looked past the plant to where the head of red was standing.

He was smiling. Hand raised up above where a hand twitched over a scabbard. Smiling. Shaking his head. The hand over the sword relaxed, falling to the side. Kurama's lip twitching as he kept his eyes on Yuu as Yuu and Yana and Asato did proper introductions. Then peered from the corners of his eyes at me, lips pulling back in obvious amusement.

And then he looked back, putting his focus back on the current discussion, the plant drooping back into place with no more attempts to reach out for me.

Baffled, my own hands fell to my sides, finally managing to disperse the tingling feeling, wondering what just happened. I wasn't able to wonder on it for too long.

I slapped my hand over my mouth, nearly giggling through my fingers, previous fear releasing out in a bubble of hilarity of Yusuke being smacked on the back of the head so far that he nearly smashed his face into the floor.

The conversation continued on while I held in any reaction of fear or worry or fright or laughter, all of them fluctuating in this weird groupings of sensations through my body. I trained my focus back to Yuu, who had his complete focus on what was being said, organizing and shuffling the information through his mind. There was something relaxing, calming, and settling about watching Yuu process everything. Normal and soothing to see. A relief. I studied him, growing more at ease at seeing the familiarity, glad to see nothing out of place with Yuu.

Red, searing eyes crossed into my direct line of vision at my older brother, narrowing at me as he kept his back to Kuwabara shouting at him. I froze. Again. I'm in over my head. What am I supposed to do about any of this to keep Yuu safe? Hiei's eyes flicked away, toward Yuu, and he scoffed, tossing out insulting remarks back to the group before storming past where I stood behind the plant, slamming the door shut. I blinked at the closed door and searched back into my mind. What exactly could I do about this whole situation?

"But wait! We can't go to sleep just yet! There was that girl! You know! The girl I was telling you guys about! What was her name…? She was looking for her little brother and we got to help her!"

"I am afraid Kuwabara," Kurama began slowly. He pulled something out from his pocket. Suspicious of his tone and wondering if I should come out now, I stepped hesitatingly forward. "That she no longer is in need of your assistance. And you are incorrect on the 'little brother'. I must admit, Kaito, I didn't expect you to be the type to have children gravitate toward you. You fingered this one the most in your book earlier."

My mouth dropped. He'd stolen Yuu's birthday present. He had stolen Yuu's present that I had given just a few hours ago that made Yuu happy to receive. He stole my bookmark! Kurama flicked it forward in his hand, among the others we'd given Yuu, to display it prominently, like a magician displaying cards to the audience.

"Huh?" Kuwabara asked. His head swiveled from Kurama to Yuu, frowning, then going back to Kurama. "What do you mean she doesn't need my help? And what does that and some crummy bookmarks have to do with the girl from upstairs?"

I looked quickly over to Yuu. He'd gone terribly pale, round little eyes wide behind his glasses as he stared at the stolen bookmarks. Something itched at my hand and I swatted it away, my hand tingling with energy building, irritated at how much of a…a…a jerk Kurama was being. No wonder Yuu hated Minamino so much. I stepped under the plant, fists clenched and tingling more, making my way out from where I'd been so Kurama wouldn't be able to keep provoking Yuu.

"So." Kurama tapped my bookmark with a finger. "I take it the presence hiding among the plants is Rin?"

"That was it! Rin! That was her name! How'd you—"

Yuu snarled. "Minamino—"

I yanked myself away from the plant slinking down past my sides, slashing my energy filled hand in front of it, making it smack right into the energy and stopping it from wrapping around my wrists. With another slash of energy above me, I ducked under the plant and ran straight for the startled group. Skidding slightly, I planted myself in front of Yuu, filling my hands with as much tingling energy as I could muster, it thrummed, and I glared up.

"Quit picking on Yuu, you big meanie! Go pick on some other plant your size, you…you…you utter pansy!"

For what felt like forever, there was silence and stunned faces. I swallowed. I breathed hard. I trembled at those sharp eyes zeroed in and focused on me. But I was not going to let anyone get away with treating Yuu like that. I stood my ground.

And then…Kurama bowed his chin to his shaking chest…and laughed.

* * *

I know it's not just me here.

It wasn't funny and I do not especially appreciate being laughed at when I was being very serious. I do realize I am smaller and younger and it is 'oh, how cute and adorable'. But really? I was wielding spirit energy focused on some very strong emotions. Determination. Protection. Love.

Okay, maybe calling him that particular flower as an insult was…ill advised to be taken seriously.

Still, I may or may not have a thing with puns and my next use of a pun as an insult was well…seriously ill advised for me to make it.

* * *

Flabbergasted, I stared up at him. Did he think it was funny to go about terrifying Yuu?

"Rin." Yuu's voice was strained. I look back at him, wondering what's wrong. Beside him, Yana and Asato have the same wide-eyed and kind of pale looks as Yuu. He doesn't move his sight off of me. "Rin, get over here please. Get away from Minamino."

I trotted over and tugged at his hand, pulling him back. "You too Yuu. He's acting weird and I don't get why he thinks this is funny and can we get new plants and not keep those?"

His head snaps up, taking his eyes off of me to stare across the room, a quiet and unsettling fury. Slowly, he pulls me to his side, tucking me close. I lean in, grasping a hold of him. Yuu speaks evenly. "Mind illuminating Minamino."

It is not a question.

"Apologies. I was merely attempting to gently extract her out of her hiding spot." Kurama's mouth quirks up. Liar. You're a jerk. You think this is funny.

Yusuke snorts.

"I'm with Urameshi," Kuwabara sputters out. "She's only like five or something and you and your plants can be creepy Kurama!"

"Five? I'm turning eight this summer and you stole my birthday gift to Yuu." I threw the charge at the sharp features, scowling as he still appeared more entertained than apologetic. My older brother tugged me back, turning my small hand in his larger ones. I fidgeted.

Whoops.

"I didn't know," I explained quietly. "Not until earlier tonight really. It's only happened the one time. With Tsukihito, Mitsu's cousin. I would have brought it up. But…you were rushing out the door soon after Mom and the dinner we made for you."

Yuu's small eyes flicked up from my hands, taking in my words before returning to studying my tiny hands. Yana shifted around him to block our hands from the direct sight of the others. Asato shoved his hands into his deep pockets and followed suit.

"It certainly explains things," Master Genkai said dryly. "I doubt the dimwit noticed—" "Hey!" "—that there was an energy hiding which kept spiking up. Particularly in regards to you, Kaito. It wasn't exactly that large of a leap to figure out and at least Kurama had the sense to pay attention and check."

Yuu's eyes flickered to the older lady, taking in the words, then directing his attention back to my hands. I kept my sights in her direction, looking her over, knowing I should probably focus on her. And I promptly took notice of other background things.

Scrunching his nose up, Yusuke blew air out of his mouth, crossed his arms and looked away, muttering under his breath. It felt familiar and funny and I leaned to watch, momentarily fascinated. There was something to watching someone you'd only seen previously in your head as an animated character.

Kuwabara grinned and sniggered, elbowing him. He didn't appear all that bothered when Yusuke smacked a fist in his direction. All he did was scuttle back from any more hits on his person, siding up next to an amused girl in a blue school uniform, her blue hair up in a ponytail. Botan. The pair shared a look, grinning as Yusuke grumbled more, like a petulant child.

I nearly laughed. Somehow, Yusuke still remained very much an animated character.

"There was that time," Yuu murmured as he turned my hand over and his long fingers felt along the skin. I turned back to him, peering carefully at him as he spoke and examined my small hand. "A few days ago, when we spoke of Minamino…Kurama…how you are not like him and I thought I saw something then…"

I blinked in surprise. "You did?" I'd done something then? Frowning to myself, I tried to remember back to that night. It'd been the same night I'd gotten that piece of paper from Sensui. The same night I'd made a promise to not losing Yuu. I'd been pretty emotional and angry and I think Yuu was right.

"Pardon me." I spun my head to look with everyone else to Botan, who was uncertainty stepping forward, an odd mix of confusion and determination on her face. She stared at me for a little too long. It became uncomfortable. Her eyebrows flew upwards in realization and her arms went up, waving about. "Sorry! I've been kind of rubbernecking since you popped up in front of us."

Yuu shifted and I slumped my shoulders in some relief as she took her eyes off of me. She faltered again. Yet the determination shone through anything else she was confused and troubled over. "Um. Well, Kaito, I really feel I must ask, as my usual job, before helping Yusuke, is ferrying souls and…"

Botan's mouth hovered open, drifting farther and farther down as her eyes grew rounder and rounder.

"Kaito. Rin. And that's right!" She pointed. "You said it was Yuu! I mean, Kurama said it too earlier, but I didn't realize until now! Your mom is Tomoko, isn't she? And your dad! You two are related to—"

Botan squeaked and slapped her hand over her mouth, scuttling backward. Baffled, I leaned forward, half moving toward her and half opening my mouth to speak. But what fully got my interest was no one else was really startled or surprised by Botan's weird reaction. Except Kuwabara, gaping at me.

"It appears as though I don't need to show you how to speak as I did earlier when threatening you, Kaito, not with that look you're showing."

At the dry tone and raised eyebrow from the other one wearing my older brother's school uniform, I turned around and raised my head to look at Yuu. Kuwabara wasn't gaping at me, he was gaping at the frightening, successfully foreboding demeanor illuminating off of Yuu. It was utterly hostile and terrifying. And then it dawned on me. I could see the ache and fear in his eyes behind the flash of his glasses.

I spun back around and stood straighter up from beside Yuu, giving my best glare, driving the point home so she wouldn't speak on Yuu's landmine again. "He's not in our lives. We don't speak of him."

Botan blinked, then drew her brows and mouth in. "Well that seems a bit harsh," she said. "I mean, after all, he's—" She slapped her mouth shut, eyes looking everywhere as though she wasn't trying to meet anyone's eyes. Botan mumbled through her fingers, "My big mouth keeps forgetting."

"Eh." Yusuke shrugs. "Your old man sucks. Join the club. You should meet my old man. He's a real piece of shit. Not like whatever stuff some pampered looking nerd would have ever seen. What? He slept with some other chick other than your mom?"

"Yusuke," Botan hissed at him.

Yana muttered behind me and I shifted to look, not catching the words, but hearing the stunned shock in the tone. Dazed, his eyes were opened wider as he stared at Yusuke, then shifted back to half open as he noticed Yuu's fearful face. He leaned to the side, tilting close and speaking into Yuu's ear. "Kaito. Chill. He at least took focus off of Little Kaito here."

I took a hold of Yuu's hand and twined myself around his arm, hugging it to my chest. After a moment, I breathed out at feeling some of the tension leaving him. A hand ruffled the top of my head and I snuggled closer to him. It felt nice. Being under someone's wing felt nice. Especially after I'd messed up and not informed him of things. Even if we'd been busy celebrating his birthday and he'd this he ran off too after our mom went to work. I should have told him before.

There was almost this sense of needing to duck from anger or apologize for taking him off guard on something he should have known first and he had every right to be upset and yell at me. But he didn't. That wasn't Yuu. Never to me. I buried myself closer, filling all of myself up with the feeling of safety and care over the distinct lack of it in the memories of my past life.

Still… "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, Yuu," I mumbled against him. He drew me closer up against him and I clung, relishing the feeling. "It's fine," he murmured back. "I…we'll figure it out."

"And with whatever else Yusuke, it's rude." Botan's voice held a tone of finality as she finished up telling him off about his earlier words.

I heard Yusuke snort. "Yeah, yeah. Looking to steal Keiko's nagging rights Botan? Tch! I'd rather get back on topic than discuss anything about that asshole. How are we doing this searching everywhere for whoever this psychic guy is? Can't I just fire a huge blast in Mushiyori and scare him off with how—ow!"

"Moron," Master Genkai snipped. I laughed into Yuu's shirt, easily picturing Yusuke being smacked over the back of his head again. "We'll be splitting up into two groups. One to investigate the area indicated where the tunnel is at and the other to search Mushiyori City. Between our groups, we should be able to gather up information about their leader, their numbers, and their powers."

Discussion changed, moving off of me and anything to do with my newfound energy or whatever Botan was going to say, which I was thankful for because I did not want Yuu putting himself through the pain of what might have been and was written down to happen to me. They began discussing the two groups and who would go where, those who would work best together and skills they brought being used to their advantage to find out about the person trying to open the hole between Human and Demon World. I drifted in and out, starting to sway a little bit. Between worrying and it being very early morning and maybe something to do with flashing out spirit energy, I was tired.

All I wanted to do was go to sleep. To not worry. Yuu and his soul were fine. They were all working together. It'd be nice to let them do all the worrying about Sensui and solve the problem like they were meant to. Except I had this nagging alertness pinging through. What was with Sensui's interest in me? I wasn't part of this.

"I'll go with Minamino's group," Yuu's voice said above me. The vibration of his spoken words had me pulling my head away from his side, peering up and trying to pay attention to where he'd be going.

"Hmph, that'll work. And our group will take Yana and Kido. The pair of you ought to give us an edge with your familiarity with the streets of Mushiyori City. Kaito will be the same advantage with knowledge of Mushiyori in the other group. Botan's tie in to Spirit World will come in handy there, she'll be in your group as well."

Yana tilted his head. "Sure you'll be fine dealing with your classmate?" Yuu merely raised an eyebrow over his glasses and gave one firm nod. "Is it really for the best? To keep avoiding him?" Directing an angled look over his nose and raised chin, Yuu didn't say a word, letting his obviously certain demeanor say everything he needed in how unnecessary he felt it was to respond. Yana shrugged, leaving the question alone.

Avoid who? I was confused. It certainly wasn't Kurama, who'd be the expected one to avoid. Sensui? Had Sensui already contacted Yuu? Tsukihito had hinted at it before and I had this flash of an animated long legged fight going on in a city area with Yusuke, not a hole in sight. Did Yuu know to keep from Sensui and the upcoming fight with Yusuke? But that didn't make sense. Sensui wouldn't know right now about his fight with Yusuke in order to get…Kuwabara.

I peeked over, involuntarily shuddering at the image of tentacle type fingers wrapped around him.

Twisting, Yuu grabbed at something and the next thing I knew, I was wrapped up in one of his blocky jackets. "Avoid who?" He stilled, I felt it, then continued patting the warmth about me.

"Don't worry about it Rin. It's nothing." His little, round eyes peered down at me, hopeful. I made mine wider, staring hopefully back. Yuu puffed out a breath of air and gave in. "Urameshi. Master Genkai's apprentice. He has quite the reputation of getting into trouble and dragging everyone involved into his battles. You know me, I'm quite unsuited in that particular…skill set. Does that sound reasonable?"

"Okay," I said slowly. Tottering from under his large coat, I fought to keep myself upright, my eyes starting to drift shut and the warmness around me. Yet I found myself frowning, blinking blearily up and trying to understand the single raised eyebrow Yana was looking at Yuu with. Asato glanced between the two, baffled, but then rolled his eyes and ignored them. There was something about how Yuu worded that, but I couldn't put my finger on it. But it seemed okay. And I guess it worked. A flash of an image came to me, helping me out. Yuu had faced off against the rest while…while Asato had been the one keeping Yusuke under his shadow. So it seemed it was just Yuu. Not anything with Sensui and if he kept his distance from Yusuke, then Yuu would be not near their fight or pushed farther into…things.

I yawned.

"If we are to be at our optimal in the morning for this search, I insist we shelve the discussion for the night, or as is more apt and fitting, the morning we are planning to wake up for, gathering up some level of repose before we seek out on some ridiculous sounding comic superhero type mission." Yana's mouth twitched and I giggled a bit, but Asato and Kuwabara and Yusuke stared all flabbergasted and confuddled by what Yuu was driving at. He stared back at them, annoyed, but spoke more simply and sardonically. "I'm suggesting we get a few hours of rest before beginning a quest to 'save the world.'"

"Told you our stories are better than anything you'd read in a book," Kuwabara said. Yuu sighed at that, probably wanting to say it was debatable, but I smiled. You could read their stories in a book. Well, maybe not now, but I know the story was written and drawn into a manga before it was made an anime. "I think I spotted a smaller bed in the clutter upstairs. Before I noticed her terrifying climb up the side of this creepy house. I can go find it and drag it out for you, Kaito. For her, I mean."

In the midst of picking me up, Yuu halted for a brief moment, then tucked me up against his side. Bed. That sounds nice. We moved, heading up the stairs with Kuwabara clomping up ahead and everyone else trailing behind. I caught sight of Kurama staring at me, his face lined with thoughts off in calculation as he stared. Turning my head, I tucked it under Yuu's chin and away from where I could see Kurama. He seemed very much the type to figure out what Botan was getting at earlier and to chip away at what Yuu was already blaming and worrying himself over with what happened to me concerning his taboo territory.

There was a scraping sound and next I knew, Yuu's face was above me and I was drifting off.

"I don't care if you don't want to hear this, but she's got a significant amount of spiritual energy. It would be extremely advisable if you made sure she trained to get a hold of that."

"Thanks for the offer, Master Genkai." Sheets tucked around me.

"I didn't say I'd do it," she snapped back.

"Um…Kaito? About before…"

Hands tucked the sheets even more snuggly around me. "Rin was not wrong before and I will not be discussing… _him_."

I think there was a yelping noise and I realized my eyes had closed. Forcing them open and trying to pay attention to what was going on, only had my sight filled with Yuu sitting on the bed staring past me to the wall. I struggled to get my small hand out to reach out. He'd always tended to get this aching look on his face when thinking of our dad. And the fear and uncertainty. But this was worried and anxious and terrified.

His hand stroked my hair back, trying to lift his lips into a smile. I let the effort count and smiled back up at him. Yuu tugged the sheets back into place and I curled up under them, curled about where he sat to keep the connection.

"Well, no. I wanted to ask about the state of her soul."

There was a sharp intake of air and his hand stilled. I pressed closer from under the sheets, trying to help ground him despite feeling as though I was sinking into the small bed. I think I mumbled something, but I don't know what I managed to get out.

"I had wondered the possibility when you brought it up earlier, Botan."

"Your presence was not wanted nor needed here, Minamino."

A long silence followed and I let go of trying to stay up any longer. There was murmurs from a distance, arguing and shouting to go to sleep. Yuu's hand resting heavily on top my head was reassuring and the next thing I knew was dreams better than earlier of seeing Yuu in trouble and him not there. Because he was here. Safe. It was all okay.

Then I saw _her_ face. I saw her mouth moving. Never a mistake. Always on purpose. There was the rest of the family. Watching. Ignoring. Doing their own thing. Staying out of it. Her arm flashed out, grabbing my attention back to what she was lecturing me over. I fucked up. I was too smart to be this stupid. Don't I dare embarrass the family. Quit acting like a child.

I couldn't hear anything, but I knew it. All I ask of you is to do a few chores, is that so damn hard? Why the hell didn't you do your homework sooner?

I didn't hear the words. I didn't have to. I knew the words. I never asked for such a disrespectful child. I raised you better than this. How do you think this makes a mother feel when their daughter does shit like this?

Sheer powerful emotions carved in year by year by after year. Stop talking, no one wants to listen to any of that. Why can't you be more like your younger siblings? They talk to me about the things going on in their lives. Are you trying to make me look like a shit mother in front of others when I don't know what's going on with you?

I knew this all by heart.

Someone tugged me back and the house faded away. Her mouth moved furiously, but I stepped back. The words didn't need to be heard for me to understand the blame and guilt trip and family. Arms wrapped around me and I looked away from her and saw Yuu.

I did not know this with _all_ my heart.

Hugging Yuu, I noticed our mom was there too. All short, curly hair back in a headband, freckles on display as she wore her work uniform. A smile on her face that I never could say I saw on _her_.

"Kaito."

Kurama was next to Yuu? Talking?

But then there were others. Yana and Asato. Kuwabara and Botan. Mitsu and Tsukihito. There were lots more people. Yusuke grinning cheekily. Aoi teasing Natsue. Akari was there, as was Tsukiko and Yasahiro. Everyone was there.

"Before. Your younger sister's energy flared when I spoke about you removing your soul on purpose, to learn what could happen. I'd thought she'd merely been upset with you for doing such a thing. But now I see, that was a lie, wasn't it? A lie you let me believe. You're defensive, sitting like that, the way you watch over her, and how she looks up at you. I am afraid I've been caught off-footed in how I had you pegged from school. She was upset for my misunderstanding of your character and the fact you removed your soul…to save hers."

Yuu is an awesome older brother. Above and beyond what most other older siblings would do for a younger one. It'd be nicer to hear this directed at him in the not dreamworld, but it didn't stop me from deeply agreeing. Yuu was something past me never dared to dream about.

I squeezed him.

But he wasn't there.

A very much flatly drawn Sensui was taking up more and more of the place and Yuu was moving farther and farther away into his visage. Wholly terrified, I froze, I screamed, I threw punches, I tried to get to Yuu. Nothing changed. Except Sensui's growing smile. And the shadows of others in the distance. Tsukihito lay on the ground. Yuu met another figure directly, then kept walking. I could suddenly see Yusuke laying on the ground. Demons of many colors started showing up from the darkness, swarming in. Sensui's smile grew far too wide, his face looking trippy and off and something to fear.

"For you."

Gasping as though I was drowning, I shot up, breathing hard into the floating dust lit by early morning rays.

For you.

I can't change Yuu.

I wouldn't want to.

But maybe who he was wasn't for the best in this situation.

Yuu would do a lot for me.

Even I wasn't unaware of the fact of him being a large hand in raising me.

He was more than just an older brother.

He was…Yuu.

'You're welcome. Sensui.'

I cannot ever let Yuu find that paper.

That he was written to be a large hand in my death.

Or Sensui did something to prevent it.

I cannot let Yuu find anything about this.


	9. Part 3: Chapter 1

"Um," Mitsu tucked her short hair behind an ear. "Rin? I've been meaning to ask. About…Tsukihito?"

As if saying his name was the cue for him to appear on stage, he came bounding around the corner of the school gate, a bright red zip-up hoodie flapping up behind him over his uniform. "Hey, dummy!" His nose wrinkled at the sight of Mitsu, who pursed her lips and turned her head away. "Mitsu. Is that why you were taking so long to come out?"

Eyebrows raised up, head still turned to the side, Mitsu spoke. "Are you walking your younger cousin home like you have been supposed to be doing or trying to make stealing my best friend into one of your silly games? Rin's just being nice. Right, Rin?"

Mitsu barely looked at me, surprising me with her tone, keeping most her focus on her older cousin. I mean, I had heard her go on about her inattentive and distant older brother. And I'd heard why she kept saying hello to her cousin when he walked us to school, but she'd never gone off like this before. She'd always been so apologetic after complaining and what she wished could be to me. I don't know why Mitsu didn't just tell them. But she'd go red in the face, waving it off and saying she could never do that.

And I, for one, didn't think it'd help if I pointed out any of the reasons I knew or figured out why Tsukihito wouldn't take this kind of call out well. Mitsu only saw the early morning walks to school. As did the others, asking me and taking my answer of I'd been nice and included him. He was being nice back. Short chats wouldn't give me enough reason to point out something on behalf of Tsukihito here.

With Yuu keeping busy between after school activities and a new essay he was set to start and joining the searches of Mushiyori City with the rest, well, for the first time ever, he wasn't allowing me to tag along with him. I'd been taking my time going home, using the free time to do the same thing Yuu had been doing in the bedroom before. Figuring out my new thing. Except, well, Tsukihito had been determined the past few days to seek me out between waving goodbye to Mitsu and heading home, excitedly dragging me to the typically empty park at that time, going on about his own powers and Sensui and about mine and how cool it was and giving me ideas of how to go about using it and talking me into playing little games.

Yeah, pointing out reasons and standing up on behalf of Tsukihito wouldn't go over well with Mitsu. I bit my lip, looking between the cousins, trying to furiously work out how to smooth this over. To let Mitsu get this out with the least amount of blow up reaction out of Tsukihito. Or maybe change the topic?

"You hovering right to her side or…or looming over us like you're ready to swoop in to separate us during the mornings is just annoying. What do you think is going to come of it?"

Tsukihito stilled, face losing a bit of color, and then turned with a snarl. "You're just a whiney little child who can't keep your mouth shut unless it's twisting every good thing I've managed to hold onto into something negative and twisted. Take right after your parents and big brother," he sneered. I wilted. There was going to be no way to change the topic at this point. Maybe there was a good way to smooth it over and work it out with things coming to the surface?

"I've heard plenty to know their words in a munchkin's mouth. Well, what do you think is going to come of it? I can avoid Kichirou's limbs long enough to make it count Mitsu. Because me and a few special others are out to change the world."

My mouth dropped. Startled, Mitsu spun her head. "Ki-Kichirou doesn't hit you! He'd never… He takes the time to talk to you, going out of his way for it."

Tsukihito snorted. "Please. You're old enough to realize he never has those precious one-on-one talks with me anywhere near you or anyone else."

I turned my head to Mitsu, heartbroken to see the clear denial on her face breaking, even more heartbroken as I looked back to Tsukihito who refused to glance at me as he gave out the facts. A trickle of fear went through me. If Tsukihito was laying his feelings and things once kept secret out in the open like this, exactly how far, exactly how close was Sensui to getting his tunnel between worlds open?

"Because you two are older, dealing with peer pressure and…" Mitsu trailed off, then scrambled back to another point he brought up. "You can't speak like that against my parents. They're not wrong. They don't speak negatively about… You don't give them much chance to with how you behave with others."

"Oh?" He crossed his arms. "So they speak well of how I'm top of my class? Or are they exactly like all the idiots in my class?"

"Well…" Mitsu ducked her head and tucked her hair behind her ear again, mumbling. "I still don't see why you can't play nice with me when you get so excited to see my best friend now. I know Kichirou is in third year of junior high and can't be bothered with me most the time. But, well, Rin has Yuu, he's even older but… I mean, he's just…Big Brother Yuu. And, and I was excited when I started school. I keep greeting you in the morning hoping…but it's been a whole year… I was just another munchkin. All of us were munchkins."

An involuntary noise jerked out from Tsukihito's throat. I was kind of glad to see him taken so far aback by Mitsu's words. That once he had opened up a fresh line of communication, as badly as he went about doing it, she'd shared right back. I beamed between them, glad to see this happening. At seeing his eyes casting about anywhere but at Mitsu, I caught his eye and nodded.

Mitsu had spoken before of her older brother and mine in comparison and slight jealousy before, despite liking him. Let's be honest, I was glad my best friend could with the extent I adored my older brother. Thankfully, none of my friends failed to make me proud with how they also looked up to Yuu. He was amazing. Yet this had been part of the stressing out Mitsu had done when we started school. On if she could become closer to her cousin, on the hopes of their ages being closer than her and Kichirou. Thus her morning greetings to him. Still. After all the days it changed nothing.

This certainly would change something. I kept telling Mitsu just to speak up.

"W-what?" Tsukihito looked back to me. A red blossomed in Mitsu's cheeks as he looked back to her. "All this time you weren't just…playing nice in public…because we're related? You barely say a word to me when…"

Her jaw trembled. "You barely look at me when everyone else is around."

"You're just," Tsukihito stumbled over his words, still looking stunned. "Always so quiet," he finished lamely. "Usually. Whenever you do talk or do anything, it's because Kichirou has whispered in your ear and pushed you forward and he…he'd…but you didn't know he'd do that…or what…"

It went quiet. Allowing it to soak in for them, I hopped ahead, forcing them to automatically move their feet in following me. Glancing back to where Mitsu and Tsukihito walked side by side, stealing glances on the sly at each other, well, it made for an interesting picture. Awkward. But a possibly very good one.

Silence was only good for so long though I figured.

"He's obsessed with video games," I announced.

Mitsu tucked her short hair behind an ear, head going down as she peered upward at him. "I know," she mumbled.

I pointed at her, looking at him. "She's obsessed with PRINCESS PRINCESS."

Tsukihito's lips twitched, looking down at Mitsu. "I think I gathered that by pictures of them plastered everywhere on the munchkin's stuff."

"They're not…everywhere," Mitsu defended herself weakly. I bounced, beaming, glad to see this turning out well. And then I saw Tsukihito's face change. How, I couldn't quite put words on it, but something changed.

His feet moved back a few steps. "I…I actually have to be meeting someone right now. I'm…I'm sorry. I just noticed the clock with the time back there. Um…uh… We'll er, do something later? I'll make sure of it munchkin. I will."

And with that, he ran off.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning?"

I looked back to Mitsu and where we were. We'd reached the meeting point and splitting point without me fully realizing it. She looked uncertain, but flushed.

"You sure Mitsu? I've got time."

"No." She shook her head. "I…I think I'm going to take your advice again. With Kichirou. I'll see you tomorrow Rin."

"Good luck," I called out after her.

It was nice, I thought. Cute, maybe a bit sad, but nice. Tsukihito seemed so stunned to hear someone in his family declare they wanted him around. I'd heard his remarks about Yuu, his remarks over family being overrated, glimmered bits off of how he behaved at ends with the look in his eyes. He didn't expect people to like or want him around, so he gave a reason for it. Even if he desperately wanted someone.

All and all, very good. Now instead of just Sensui, he had both me and his cousin in his life.

"Ack!"

"Come on, dummy!" Eyes sparkling in excitement, Tsukihito kept tugging at me. For more stuff at the park? The thing with Mitsu? I let him pull at me. I suppose with it being unexpected, he needed time to think over the Mitsu thing, so he gave some excuse to leave. "Let's go! I've been waiting for this all day!"

"I'm coming." I laughed at him. Such a kid.

"And I've been bugging him about it since I found out you're like me. He just knows things. I've told you. He knew about my thing before too and went out of the way for you and this way, you're gunna be on the right side of things and we'll get to hang out afterwards."

Wait.

What?

He doesn't mean that…

No.

Tsukihito spun me around on the sidewalk. I tripped over a pair of long legs stretched out, crossed at the ankles. Wide eyed, I stared at the person lounging on the bench, dressed in greys, forearms dangling loosely from where his elbows rested on the back. A small jewel sparkled in the light as he shifted up from his slouch, a kind smile creasing his mouth as he sat straight and crossed his legs higher up at his knees and politely patted at the area of the bench beside him and the other hand offered to me.

"Apologies. Stretching out my limbs can be a bit of a danger." I stared at the odd quirk of humor, the joking tone. That's definitely an understatement with the drawn out images I've had of you, if you really are…I hope not. I really, really hope not. "Please sit. Wouldn't want anything to happen to you after the trouble I went to. Sounds like you've been doing okay from how he goes on about you since… How rude of me. Please sit, sit. It sounds like I've been mentioned from him."

"Hey! I've done more than mentioned! You're the—"

He raised up a hand and Tsukihito subsided, pouting some, but hovered ever closer, vibrating with his excitement of this meeting. The hand moved back in front of me. Another offer, but not to help me to the bench. A far more Western offer. As in America, from the United States. Polite, yes, but standing out with jarring obviousness.

A handshake.

Delivered with a smile.

Knowing on his face.

He just knows things, Tsukihito had said.

"Nice to meet you face to face. I'm Shinobu Sensui."

* * *

You know those times in a person's life that when you're faced with something, you feel like you ought to run but can't move your feet? They call it the flight or fight response. I don't get why they had to get cute with the naming to have them both start with the letter 'f'. And it doesn't work. I only have flight or fight as my options?

I mean, who the hell would start a physical altercation with Sensui? Not me.

And we are so ignoring the obvious one of who did.

Sorry, that was a bit rhetorical considering how we all know what happened in that cave.

Still, we know what I mean. Standing up against him is difficult enough to will yourself to do. Unless you have a very moving reason why…

For doing the right thing, taking the place of someone, saving lives of others, spotting an opening to aid a group effort.

…and believe losing something very valuable is worth doing it.

Your peace of mind, your health, your life, your soul, or even…someone else's peace of mind.

* * *

I gaped, staring. His mouth opened to almost impossibly wide proportions. Almost impossible, clearly not impossible because he managed it. Leaning into it, his wide mouth went a touch larger, then closed as his arms came back down from stretching.

Snickers broke out behind me. I turned to see Yusuke, who turned to look back to me, eyes lighting up as he bent closer. "Hey, what do you think kid?" There was still far more snicker in his voice than any conspiratorial whisper. "Think the big lug there could fit a whole fist in his mouth? I can give a helping hand to see if he can manage it."

Kuwabara immediately back stepped and thrust a fist up, waving it at Yusuke behind me. "I'd like to see you try punk!"

"That's number one punk," Yusuke pipped back gleefully. "And come on Kuwabara, we shouldn't let down the hopes of a kid now. She wants to see if you can get a fist in your mouth."

"Says you! She's a kid and a girl at that! You don't fight in front of little ladies!" Then his face did a complete turnabout, going from angry yet exasperated yelling to a warm smile and voice lowering with kind consideration of me. Of me. "Hey. Good morning, Rin. Did you sleep okay last night? The bed I found was comfortable?"

Warmth filled me up and I nodded. "Mm-hm!"

A large grin filled up his face and he preened, purposely over-the-top silly. I couldn't help but smile, giggling at the tall goof. "Heh." Pleased with himself, he awkwardly scratched behind his neck, messing up his morning bird's nest even further. Then he glanced about, eyebrows furrowing down a little bit. "Hey. Where is your brother?"

"Bathroom," I answered simply.

Yuu had forced himself up early for it, checking on me and telling me to use it before he went in. I'd gone. And discovered that besides the plants being moved here for what happened last night, Yuu had apparently made sure they'd stocked up the bathroom so they could all take advantage of quick use before the school day began. There was even the styling gel in there that he used on his hair to slick back the sides from his eyes and add and hold his curls. I smiled a bit to myself at that. Yuu always tended to get fussy when his curls fell and drooped. His single vanity to go with holding his serious manner of dressing. Tall and distinguished. And then his hair. I smiled a bit more. Of course he brought his styling gel.

Thankfully, since I unexpectedly turned up, he wouldn't have to run all the way back to the apartment first for me. Still, he kept to the plan he'd set up before and taken the bathroom first.

Well, me. And then him.

"I already used it. Yuu let me go before him. I don't think there's another one, but there's time before—"

"Awesome," Yusuke remarked sarcastically and he drew himself up. "He's no pretty boy and should be out soon 'cause I gotta take a dump."

"Urameshi," Kuwabara screeched out. "You can't talk like that around—"

But Yusuke had already marched himself over to the bathroom and was pounding loudly on the door. "Hey! I gotta take a crap! Hurry it up in there!"

No response followed.

"They been in there a while?" I turned to see Yana shuffling in, slumped and ruffled. A hand drifted up to bat his long strands up, which somehow still managed to remain mostly upright throughout the night. He peered blearily at Yusuke pounding and shouting at the door for a while. "Minamino?"

"Kurama?" Kuwabara said. "Eh, no. Kurama figured out it was stocked and used it last night before I did. Us and Botan then wound up talking most the rest of the night about group strategies for searching with… Kaito's in there."

Droopy eyes blinked once, then Yana dragged his hand down his face. "Of course he is," he grumbled.

I frowned along with Kuwabara at that comment. Going back to looking at the door, I wondered why Yuu's avoidance of Yusuke extended this far that he didn't respond to the pounding on the door. It wasn't as though Yusuke was looking for a fight with him or Yusuke was in a fight at the moment. He just wanted to use the bathroom.

"What is with all the noise Yusuke?" Asked a new voice.

"Her brother is in there taking forever when I gotta—"

"Patience," cut in an irritated voice. Yuu stood at the open door, just off to the side and back a step as he spoke. "As I've been told, is considered a virt—"

Yusuke whooped, squeezing through the opening in the doorway and Yuu stepped quickly forward before he could be shoved out. The door slammed shut. Two seconds later, Yusuke was cackling loudly. "No second bathroom here Kuwabara!"

There was a pause as we all stared at the door, then Botan let out a noise of disgust. "Ugh! That's disgusting Yusuke!"

It didn't seem likely to stop him, I thought, not with how he laughed after her verbal reaction.

Sighing loudly, Kuwabara shook his head. "Moron. This is why Kurama and I used it last night. We've already been forced to live with this all during the Dark Tournament. And I can hold it until school. Er…" He glanced over to Yana, looking suddenly uncomfortably guilty and apologetic. "You and Kido didn't need to use it this morning, did you? I kind of forgot to give a heads up for dealing with the moron."

Yana shrugged. "I'm fine." His droopy eyes peered over to Yuu, staring a bit, then let out a long breath. "Hey, you didn't happen to cart your stuff out when you finished up?"

"Luckily," Yuu said dryly as he gave the closed bathroom door an extremely annoyed look. There was a giggle from off to the side. I quickly looked. Botan. Then back to my older brother. He had pulled out his styling gel from his pocket. "I did."

Catching, fumbling some with the toss, Yana's mouth broke out into a grin. "Sweet. Pay you back with a new one Kaito."

A new one? A whole brand new one? I stared, studying Yana's hair, going up on tip toe to get a better view. Exactly how much did Yana use to keep it up like that? It was already mostly upright from the night after all.

"Hey, uh, Kaito? Anyway I can borrow a dollop of it?"

A loud shout of far too much glee echoed from the bathroom, followed by more cackling.

"Moron," Kuwabara repeated his earlier insult with almost a fondness in it as he shook his head, rolling his eyes.

I stared and slowly inched away from the direction of the door. "Yuu? Thanks for letting me go first."

"I can't believe that…that…that child is…" Yuu stared at the door is disbelief, teeth clicking together as he sucked in a breath. "Does he hold no regard for anyone else who needs to use the facilities?"

"I feel like this is just like a family from a show, siblings standing around complaining and pounding on doors to the bathroom," Botan chirruped brightly. Then added sourly. "Except it's Yusuke and I still need to go."

Exasperated, Yuu spun his head to stare at her. I peered up, biting my lip. It really appeared as though she'd gotten on his bad side from the start with mentioning our dad like she did. Now, anything she said was going to rub him wrong it seemed. Botan froze and laughed nervously. "Sorry! I just keep managing to say the wrong things around you, don't I?"

Wanting Yuu to work well with the upcoming searches, I reached out to tug at his pants to ask him to give her another chance, another first impression.

"That is his regard, I'm afraid to tell you Kaito," cut in a smooth voice. I jumped, spinning, going close to Yuu as I saw Kurama walking in with Asato following him. "Or at least it's an exploit he finds humor in. How well do you think it will go over with Yusuke?"

At the question, Kuwabara's head swiveled over with a snap, distracted from trying to get his hands on the styling gel. "You did it?" An unruffled smile followed. Kuwabara immediately began snickering with a giddy grin, looking far too pleased. Not well."

"I tucked a plant in the bathroom last night after my own use, anticipating he would attempt such stunts again," he informed the room. Then smiled serenely at the bathroom door. I found myself turning to look, listening carefully.

It didn't take long for Yusuke to go off, Yuu to slam his large palms over my ears, and for me to hear a muffled scream at Yusuke on my behalf from Kuwabara. I grinned at the door, amused at the very vocal reaction at his shenanigans being put to a halt.

"Dimwit," scoffed Genkai as she passed the room.

Botan quickly claimed the bathroom next and I followed her with my eyes. Even though I wanted her and Yuu to work well together in their search of Mushiyori City, I didn't want them getting along that well. She said herself she ferried souls. And appeared familiar with who we were for some reason. Her job or because, well, I didn't want Yuu to find out he was written down to be the reason for… He couldn't find out. I didn't want to see him put himself through that. And then be open to whatever reason for Sensui had for—

"I'm freshened up," she announced close to me. And Yuu. Her wide eyes flicked over to him apprehensively, but that determination shone through. "Can we… We need to talk about what I was trying to bring up last night. About the circumstances of her soul. It needs to be talked about. I know all of this going on, but the truth is that her soul—"

"It's fine," I defended Yuu. His hand had gone noticeably tight at my shoulder. "It's still there, I'm still here, it's fine. It's not like it's gone, because I'm not a zombie."

Botan bit her lip. Hard. Eyes flickered from me to Yuu to me and back to Yuu. Her voice lowered. "About that…"

"I said there's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine. So my soul is fine. There's nothing wrong with it."

"Rin," Yuu's voice beseeched me hoarsely. "It's…okay. I…I should know what… Why don't you go over with Yana for a minute?"

"No. I'm staying here with you." I was looking up at him for my declaration and saw his head nod. Breathing out, his hand lost tension at my shoulder, his own shoulders slumping slightly before squaring them back as he looked back to Botan. Pursing my lips, I squinted my eyes up at her. "Fine. But if you upset my older brother, I'll be having words with you, because he is awesome. Do you got that? Yuu is the best."

Startled, she stared at me after my second declaration, my more firm declaration, and suddenly smiled at me. "Oh gosh, you're so cute! Of course he is! That's totally right. You adore him, don't you? I remember that from going through your guide book with Sayaka some time ago."

"Sayaka?" Popping up from where he'd gone from trying to argue with Kurama and wrestling with Kuwabara over the injustice of what they did, Yusuke hopped over with interest. "I haven't thought about her in a while. How's she been doing after everything?"

"Good," Botan answered brightly. Behind me, I felt Yuu shift, like a fidget. "She's insisted on becoming a ferry girl, so that she can help you when your time is finally up. And looks forward to doing so with all your family and friends. She hopes you haven't forgotten."

Baffled, he blinked, taken aback. "About her? How could I forget Sayaka?"

"No silly!" She laughed at him. "About Keiko and you before you cross over and having four kids. Two boys and two girls."

Stiffening, Yusuke's face went comedically red and he quickly looked away, shoving his hands into his pants. "Tch!" He quickly spun about and disappeared away, surprising the rest of the group hanging out outside the bathroom with his pop up return.

I giggled. Botan looked to me with a smile, giggling too. "Yusuke. That boy. Always trying to act so macho and deny they're more than friends. You'd like Keiko. Er, but speaking of Sayaka…" Her head turned to Yuu, motioning for us to follow her off to the side where our conversation couldn't be overheard again. The smile left my face and I gaped at her, shaking my head. Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it. "Did no one come when…when her soul was removed by accident?"

Yuu's whole body went tense. Teeth gritted. "Yes," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Oooh." Botan's feet danced in her spot a little, then walked farther away from the rest, closer to us. "I'm terribly sorry about asking over this, I really am. But I feel I really must. I already know and remember from her guide book about there being an accident with her… Sorry, I'm sorry. But, I haven't happened to run into Sayaka lately and I'm kind of surprised she didn't come looking for me considering it was to be her first…I mean you two are...and she got rather attached to um… I'm really not helping, am I? I'm trying to figure out how to word this well!"

She sucked in a breath. "Okay. Can you explain what happened? I know you'll not want to, but her soul is…" Botan bit her lip, looking scared to say it, yet did so anyway. "Not like anything I've seen before."

Yuu shuddered at the force of his breathing in, then out at that, a small and panicked noise exiting him. I reached out and grasped his large hand with my small ones. Then turned to Botan.

"I'm fine," I reiterated. "Yuu was practicing, but I didn't know that when I went in and said something taboo. He kept me safe. He put it back. Kept me safe. I am fine."

"How?" Her gaze went from mine to back to Yuu. "It can't have been like mine or Kuwabara's souls. Ours are intact, as if nothing removed them, put back as found. Rin's soul is… I'm not sure how to read into what I'm seeing and I am positive I will word it poorly and I've done enough making you upset in things coming out of my mouth. Can you tell me how? Please?"

He swallowed. I gripped at his large hand, squeezing in reassurance, twining myself into the crook of his arm. Then he took a breath in. "I panicked," he admitted thickly. "I didn't think logically, like I should have, and made to grab, to physically put it back…instead of merely cancelling my territory's current game. Like I should have done."

Yuu sounded absolutely disgusted with himself. I hugged his arm tightly. This must be the part that was written in that ripped out page from my guide book Sensui had his hands on and delivered to me via Tsukihito. About my soul being marred, supposed to be responsible for my death. Yuu was trying to not voice just how much he grievously messed up, how much he failed me, how much he held himself responsible for his gut reaction mistake. And how his unthinking actions had done the opposite of what he'd meant to do. I hugged even tighter.

"That's completely understandable," Botan said softly. "What did you do next?"

"Stared." He let out a hallow laugh, head turning away, looking at the wall as he continued. I let go of his arm and turned myself, wrapping my arms around as much of him that I could, grasping tight to his school jacket. A large hand automatically covered my head, loosely cupping it as his fingers stroked a tentative motion, and I leaned into it as I kept my hold around him.

"I just stared, like an idiot at what I did to... Then begged with everything in me that what I did worked while she…laid there." His larger and longer fingers stilled from their movement. I could feel Yuu's body trembling a bit under my arms. I gave him a squeeze with my gasping hands. "A hole appeared in my room. Not on the ground, but above our heads. A long pale arm reached out for…for."

Adjusting her frowning eyebrows, Botan nodded quickly. "I get it, keep going."

"Sayaka I presume, doing her job. My mind leapt to terror. If it were possible to do fantastical type things, then a shining person with unnaturally colored teal hair, one hand glowing and the other arm reaching out for…for… Some sort of afterlife could be possible and people ferrying the souls were likely true and one was reaching out. Reaching out for…"

"For me," I asked him. I looked up. His chin dipped down sharply, jerkily. "But you kept me safe. I know you did. Because I'm right here Yuu."

"I finally cancelled my territory. It didn't…didn't work. Cancelling had always returned the souls to the body, without question. They'd go back to how they were before. But…it didn't work." There followed a long moment of silence. Then. "So I broke the taboo I'd set up."

Botan frowned. "Maybe some of your desire to protect your sister leaked through? I can't say for sure, but…it maybe fits with what I'm seeing?"

"What," Yuu began. Then licked at his lips, turning his face away from the wall and back to Botan. "What do you see? Is there a way I…we can fix it if there's something…"

He didn't finish the question. I gave him another squeeze. And mumbled up against him. "I'm fine Yuu. Nothing is wrong with me."

"You didn't have that kind of energy before," he said.

"Oh! That's not a bad thing," Botan quickly reassured him. "And not unexpected in the given circumstances. It often happens when humans have brushes with supernatural type things. Like how there are so many more psychics with territories lately. Or how Yusuke died to…nevermind. I shouldn't have used his dying example."

Yuu gave her a look. "Get on with it." Then paused, squirming a bit, shifting his feet. "Just…hit me with it. What do you see? Tell me."

Botan fidgeted herself. "Okay," she said slowly. "I'm not sure how to describe it in the best way, but it is like…there is a weaving dance of something going on, dark tears being kept from being ripped apart…"

She swallowed, looking apologetic at what her words were causing. Yuu's large hand trembled on my head. Botan continued on.

"By the spinning help of the weaving dance of something there. Which, doesn't really happen when there are…tears like that. And even odder, whatever is going on with her soul, it's holding it, but it's holding back from filling the dark space. There's tendrils meeting briefly, not for long. And other hints of color are more…prevalent than normal. Usually, I can see the overall color of someone easily. Like your pastel green Kaito. But the other hints seem more than hints in hers. Particularly one other color it seems. I'm guessing that's only because of the tears of space that they seem more though."

I stared. Yuu was still. That's odd. It kind of matched the whole thing I hoped what was a territory for me, because what else—

"I mean," she laughed her nerves off and joked. "Her soul has been like this for hours, longer than that since it happened. It's not like the more prominent butter yellow with her eggshell blue color could possibly be a whole other soul. There's no such thing as coexisting souls."

I was absolutely frozen.

Botan continued, not aware of what I or Yuu were so shock still from.

"But I'll ask up in Spirit World as soon as I have an opportunity. Chances seem real high that your desire to fix her leaked through when you did that, so that's probably all it is. Rin isn't wrong when she declares you the best if you're willing to do something like that for her."

She beamed at me.

"You got one of the best for older brothers."

Then stood back up from leaning down to inform me of this. "I better get back to the rest and I'll get back to you as soon as possible on her soul situation Kaito. Between Koenma and Sayaka from her end and Ayame with her more expert knowledge over the years, I got you covered. Oh, right. You had your glasses on right?"

Apparently unable to speak, Yuu nodded.

"Huh. Weird. I'll ask Sayaka about it." She waved her arms about. "Nothing to worry about, I promise. I'm sorry, both of you. Maybe I shouldn't have said what I saw after all. Except I thought it'd worry your big brother here.

"It's just normally we travel on oar over any portal like that. It might be that's why her hand was glowing, she's new to ferrying souls and last I talked to her, she was having issues with getting an oar to form consistently. And last I knew, she hadn't dyed her hair. Huh. Bet it looks great though despite Ayame getting annoyed about us doing things like that." Botan put on a grin and waved as she went by, her own long blue hair flowing behind her.

Yuu caught her sleeve.

"Would what you see…match with remembering a former life?"

I peered up intently, drawing my chin up and stepping forward a bit so Yuu's hand wasn't in the way to properly see her. Botan froze. And turned to stare back at us.

"It…it's a human concept, idea, joke. It doesn't actually happen."

She stared.

"Reincarnation even doesn't…it's a whole new life."

Her eyes drifted down to stare at me.

"Remembering a former life."

I stared back, stepping back into Yuu's safe arms, shaky, but safe arms.

"It doesn't actually happen."

Botan's purple eyes were incredible. Incredibly wide.

"I was only asking," Yuu said suddenly. He stepped back, pulling me with him. "Asking."

She shook her head, clearing it. "Of course! You were just asking, you didn't know it wasn't possible. Of course that's not it at all. But like I promised you, I'll ask about it up in Spirit World and see if it is as I'm guessing with your desire strong enough and your willingness to do something like what you did to correct what happened."

Then she was off to the rest again.


	10. Part 3: Chapter 2

There was this twitch of his eyebrow that just felt dangerous. Then, Shinobu Sensui tilted his head and smiled at me. I sucked in a breath as all his attention fell onto Tsukihito trying to cajole me into hanging out longer, whining a bit at my answer. My automatic no. Something that I was rethinking as time went on.

"He's not some stranger, I know him dummy, he's cool, he's a good guy, I swear, and it won't take long. I promise. Come with us." Tsukihito bounced on his toes in front of me, vibrant eyes wide and pleading with me eagerly.

"Now, now. If she doesn't want to come with, that's her decision." A long arm wrapped around Tsukihito's disappointed shoulders.

And I panicked.

A thousand things and questions shot through my head, wondering if this was a politely phrased kidnapping or was this the life-threatening place in the story for Tsukihito or that it couldn't be because I wasn't there or if this was a trap for me or Yuu. But I looked at Tsukihito, who turned to fit under Sensui's arm, peering back at me with imploring eyes. The older man tugged gently, his smile from above Tsukihito, where Tsukihito couldn't see the truth and lie and danger.

"Let's go."

And their backs turned on me, walking away.

"No!"

The effect was immediate. Tsukihito spun, smile wide and beaming. "You're coming? Yes!" With a leap, he bounded back and grasped my wrist, tugging excitedly. "She's coming Sensui, she's coming with!"

I tugged back, ducking in beside Tsukihito's skipping steps and Sensui's long legs, putting as much distance between myself and him without it coming off as rude and possibly commented on. My brain felt like it was overdrive. But not in that good way where you figured out all the answers and put everything together. This was too much.

Sensui's lips quirked, eyes flickering between the bit of area separating us with a note of confusion and then amusement as they moved across to Tsukihito, who was still chattering on with that skip in his step close beside me. Inching closer to Tsukihito, I frowned up at Sensui. Was it good I confused him? Like Yuu, not expecting me to be protective?

Whatever he had planned for Tsukihito today, I certainly was going to try my best to ruin it. I couldn't stand by. I was here. I could do something. I couldn't not. Not when I had some sort of idea where this relationship could lead. I swallowed, straightening. Who cared about me? There…there was something going on with Yuu…or me…but it would fail. Right? There was nothing coming up in my head, from anywhere, that concerned Yuu. Nothing in the story, nothing striking a cord with my former life. But with Tsukihito…

I was going to do my utmost to keep him safe.

"This won't take long, right?" I asked.

Limited time, equals less time to really allow this guy to do something. And Tsukihito said—

"Right," he piped up the answer quickly. There was still a bounce in his step. "We usually play video games, eat, talk…" His nose wrinkled, then grinned and teased me with a nudge. "Worried about the big dummy? We'll be back well before dark. Just like the times we are at the playg—"

"Actually," Sensui's voice floated down toward us. My shoulders stiffened, directing my attention back up to him. So much for chatting up the cheerful Tsukihito and eating up any time he could get involved during this outing. "It appears we're running ahead of schedule."

There was a pause, his face merely looking down at us, waiting for the connection to hit, a polite smile on his face. I had no idea what he meant by schedule. Anything Tsukihito had been set on rambling on about as per usual about the guy and his time with him didn't scream schedule. It was just…hanging out. Innocent. Unless you thought too much about an older stranger hanging out with a kid for extended periods of time like a buddy. Or knew what this relationship led up to. Rather than something truly innocent like a teacher or coach type relationship between an elder and younger.

Yet my fingers tingled at his words.

I quickly thrust my hands behind me, dread flushing through me as I remembered the times my energy had done so before and words of how it acting up could be it reacting to danger. My mouth went dry.

"Wha…?" Eyebrows furrowed down, they suddenly shot back up and Tsukihito perked up completely, excitement building in him again. "It's time? It's time, isn't it? Oh! Dummy! This is the best timing! You get to come along and oh, um… Uh. Hey, Sensui?"

The gaze settled on Tsukihito. But there wasn't much relief for me in the attention not focused on me. Wasn't…wasn't there mutterings with the searches Yuu was helping with about the tunnel running ahead of schedule? No…

I tightened my hands, trying to get the tingling feeling of my spirit energy to disperse, not wanting Sensui to know and his polite smile declared no outward hint of anything to me. Didn't mean much. Hide it, hide it, hide it! My fingernails burned marks into my palms as I stared at Sensui, looking for anything, any give-away to anything.

"Well, if it's time," Tsukihito dragged out his words slowly. Vaguely, I noticed his fingers twisting around each other and his gaze dropping nervously to me. I tried to pay attention. I tried. But I saw Sensui's gaze shifting up ahead and I followed it. "Then, about her older brother, if he would be…"

My feet stuttered to a stop. I stopped. Staring.

Words washed over me, uncomprehendingly.

"I mean, I don't really, but dummy here is…"

Right there. Up ahead. Sat a pickup truck. Turquoise.

"And maybe my cousin Mitsu. It's just they're friends and she's just a kid, not really like the others, at least, I don't think so… So, would they be…?"

A man with short cropped hair and crinkling eyes stuck up a hand, waving at us.

Long fingers wrapped around a loudly vocal and thrashing Kuwabara flashed through my head.

Everything screamed at me.

And I stood there.

Staring.

No.

It can't be.

Nonononono.

"You have nothing to worry about for them."

Voice calm. But the words… Not a reassurance. Because there's nothing for you to worry about if there's no you to be there to—

"What do you say to the real thing?"

A distraction.

"Really? I get to drive that? For real on the street like you promised? Yes! Let's go!"

Other images flashed, warnings raring up inside of my head to run away and stay safe as I turned slowly from the turquoise pickup truck to look up at Shinobu Sensui.

It was a polite smile on his face. So fake. Shadows from the evening sun ruined the smile. Or was it him ruining the polite veneer? The smile wasn't just a show. There was some relaxed sign of indulgence on his face, satisfaction and gratification and delight that all hit horrible clanging notes in my head with the images flashing through it.

Calmly watching a movie, arms relaxed as stones fell all around him, the darkening yaw of snarling demonic faces and arms lashing outward growing and growing.

A distressed blond boy directing water falling to the ground before Kuwabara.

A demented doctor pushing for death from Yusuke, jumping for it.

A gleeful face, spinning a lever for more games. A pitiful cry out to Kurama. A small body collapsing.

So small.

Sharp face lined in with utter DON'T FUCK WITH ME striding forward mercilessly.

And still, Sensui sat lounging, watching a movie, without a goddamn care to any of that as the world tore on itself around him.

I barely heard the huff of amusement. "He may be a bit reckless and think it a game, but he's done fine practicing with it before. There's at least two other adults in the vehicle to do something about it." His lips quirked up at me. "If you don't count the third adult due to height issues at the moment. You can still talk pointers. He appears to be taken with you after all."

I went still.

What?

Third adult?

There was only…

He merely smiled wider, head nodding down the faintest of fractions as though saying 'yes'.

"After you," Shinobu Sensui gestured with a long arm.

I looked desperately at the truck, hoping he wasn't there, or the other adult—ignore the finger image!—or that its color magically changed or that it was really a car instead.

Fixing an extra piece onto his foot to reach the pedals easier, Tsukihito grinned widely over at me. I nearly went faint at the pure enthusiasm in his face. No idea. The kid had no idea. Forcing my breathing down, I sped after Tsukihito into the truck, scrambling inside and rushing to figure out some way to keep him from dying today. There wasn't supposed to be a girl sitting here. But here I was. Maybe…maybe it would make a difference. That I could talk Tsukihito out of it, keep him safe, use my spirit energy for something useful, be there for him when he found the only person he called a friend was…was planning on him dying just to get some extra time to make sure the world would get destroyed!

There was a deep-seated terror. I shouldn't be here. I barely felt the tear rolling down my face, before I set it into determination. The terror remained the same. I shouldn't be here. The same since I got that piece of paper delivered via Tsukihito.

I wasn't supposed to be alive, here, anything. And how I was here…

What the hell did Sensui have planned for Yuu?

I gripped at my seat and clung on for dear life. And clung onto the faint hope that Yuu wasn't about to be dragged through the shitter because of my life.

* * *

Fight. Heading right into the thick of it. Right to where I had a very good idea that bad things will happen and I should listen to Yuu, to Yuu, my older brother. Or I'm just stubborn. There's too much in me that needs to help.

Flight. I'll run away from danger all day long. But if I see danger for others, I run toward the danger. For them.

I probably should have listened to Yuu. Taken more solace in how I didn't see myself in that cave, stayed out of the whole thing.

But it's Yuu.

And I'm…I'm me. Rin and yet… I'm me.

I can't help but think that I was supposed to die then. And no matter what, since I was around, Sensui would have said something about me to Yuu with or without me physically there. Or that he would have done more than a polite kidnapping. He proved his point, one way or the other, didn't he? With Yuu.

That's okay. Being there…I proved my point too.

* * *

Run, run, run. Sprint, dodge, weave, jump. Run, run, run.

Memories of quickly maneuvering through a crowd came to me and I pulled from them, taking advantage of a knack of focusing on odd things. Rather than my eyes latching onto the movement of everyone, I suddenly started quickly zeroing in on the holes without too much problem. Like a snap focus to the court before flicking a volleyball down into an open spot since I didn't have any flashy speed to back up my skills. There was a small smattering of pride at the ability and a careful extension out, so I inwardly reached further in and sped up.

Run, run, run.

Almost there.

I weaved through an opening between two passing people, jumped over the bicycle rack, and dashed into a less-traveled area to search near the clock. Their meeting place for after school. I hopped up and down, trying to see around better. Giving up, I scampered over and hoisted myself halfway up the clock before I spotted the group.

"Yuu!"

His head spun, panicked, but quickly pinpointing where I was in the crowd. I scooted up a little and waved widely with a hand. Disbelief and resignation crossed his face. I grinned over at him. "I made it! Hi, Yana! Asato!" Next to him, they'd turned to look at me too. Asato's nose wrinkled, scowling and muttering off to the side. But Yana's mouth quirked up and he saluted lazily up in my direction. The rest shuffled about to stare as well, Kuwabara screeching in alarm. "Hi. Kuwabara!"

With making myself known so they wouldn't leave without me by accident, I slid down and scampered through the crowd, most noticing and parting for me. "Yuu! I'm here! I'm ready! Let's go!" The entire group with him goggled at me, then swiveled their heads up to him. Anticipating the venture of a game of hide and seek with Yuu and others his age instead of the other way around, I beamed up at him.

Breathing out heavily, Yuu pinched at the bridge of his nose, then pushed his glasses back up. "Rin, this isn't…isn't like normal."

"I know," I said. "You play things with us, this time I get to play something with you."

"Rin."

I cut him off before he continued with that look on his face. "I know, I know. This isn't really a game of hide and seek, even though it kind of actually is, just not really…gamey."

"That's right, this isn't a game. It could wind up becoming dangerous when we finally find who we're looking for."

"That's why I'm coming too," I declared. "I won't let them hurt you, not if I can do something about it."

Yuu's jaw went slack, eyes startlingly wide as he gaped at me, speechless.

There was a loud crack and Yusuke smashed face first into the cement. Gasping, I stepped forward to see if he was okay, but was tugged back. Then I noticed Master Genkai staring unamused down at his twitching body. Oh. Right. That'd explain that. I fought at a smile, trying to hide my amusement of the apparently usual exchange between them.

"Focus. You're going to focus on the task at hand, dimwit." Then her steady gaze went up to the rest. Hurriedly, Kuwabara and Botan straightened up, pasting on unconvincing and nervous smiles at her severe look aimed at them. "Hmph! All of you need to put your minds to the task at hand."

"I'm with Yuu's group!"

Everyone's eyes swiveled to me.

"I'm going with. Yuu always lets me."

Multiple eyes stared, silently staring. I pursed my lips and stood my ground. Suddenly, Asato snorted and shook his head. Then Yana broke the silence. "Little Kaito, you know this isn't the same as always."

I huffed up at him, glaring. There was no way I wasn't going to try to weasel my way into the group search. Not when they were looking for a man who had some odd and inexplicable interest with Yuu. Searching my mind wound up in zero answers. I mean, Yuu is amazing and awesome, but I didn't get or like the comments from Tsukihito or how saving me lined up a bit too close to Minamino's circumstances.

"Aw! And you must always tag along with him, that's adorable," Botan cooed. Her hand suddenly flew up, fingers spread delicately across the bottom of her face, gasping. "Oh! Wait, um, that's probably not the best way to… Whoopsies."

Wary, Kuwabara glanced at me, apparently thought better when I glared at him to dare talk me out of going with, and he turned to Yuu. "Uh…Kaito?"

"Let's go," Genkai barked. "Enough standing about wasting time. Get going. Not our problem to worry about clinger-ons. But I highly suggest you figure out how to stop beating around the bush and tell her no. Ditch her. And you." The aged face turned to me, her tough expression not changing one iota in how she dealt with teenagers to a child. I straightened, pulling my shoulders back and lifting my chin. "You had no idea you had energy until last night, quit making yourself a nuisance. Skedaddle kid. Go home."

She turned, Yana and Asato giving a glance back to Yuu and me before hurrying after. With a snapping insult back, Yusuke spun too, speeding up to shoot insults right back at her. Sticking my tongue out at her back, I looked up to Yuu. And bypassed the issue I knew he wanted to get into with the deliberating look on his face. "Where to first?"

"You three don't mind if we make a pit-stop before searching," he said in a manner more statement than question. Then gazed back to me, regret, but resolve in his face. "Rin. You know what I'm going to say. You don't need to hear it or make me say it."

My shoulders slumped. "But," I spoke up hopefully. "You said it yourself, this isn't like normal. I can help. I just have to make my hands tingle and…and they do something. I could do something with them. Like you with making sure there's no violence with your thing."

Clenching my fists tight, one on top the other, I squeezed. Tiny minute sunlight-bands of color sparked out and around both my fists. Slowly, I drew them apart. For a bit, it created a connection between my fists, like I was forming a magic wand to present from out of nowhere. Then, it splintered, and it looked like I was holding up two separate, minute suns.

"See, Yuu?"

He gazed down at me for a moment, a long moment, then crouched next to me. Slowly, he reached up with a large hand toward mine. Curiosity and something heartbreaking on his face shone, nearly washed out by the brightness of my small hands. Both points of energy blinked out, disappearing from my hands. I gaped at him as his eyes stayed steady upon mine. My fight to stay was dwindling. Quickly. Yuu's eyes kept on me, uneasy and anxious and fearful. "Use it how, Rin?"

"I…I don't know," I said quietly. The fight to stay left me and I looked down at my feet.

"How about," he began. Then swallowed. Audibly. I peered back to him. Like it was eating at him and hurt to say, Yuu continued. "You practice at home. When I get back, you can show me and we'll figure it out. After this has finished up, I can take you to Master Genkai's temple to…to get you expert help for getting a handle on it. Okay?"

As far as I could find in the searching of my mind, Yuu should be fine. It's just… I am worried at the attention, the extra attention, shown on him from Sensui. That he'd saved me…for what? I don't know, but I don't like it and I want to make sure Yuu is okay. He should be fine, but…

"Fine," I muttered.

Eyebrows going up in surprise and concern, Yuu pushed his eyeglasses back up. "Rin? What is the problem? What's bothering you?"

I looked right at him, jaw quivering. "You said it'd be dangerous."

"Dangerous?" Kuwabara straightened and puffed up his chest, jabbing a thumb at it as he put on a confident smile. A smile far more convincing than the one he gave to Genkai minutes previous. "I'll have you know that your brother here will be traveling with the number one punk at Sarayashiki Junior High! And not one, but two of the Dark Tournament champions! There's no need to worry over this guy here, even if he does avoid fighting. We got 'em covered!"

And then he began posing and flexing his muscles in front of me.

Startled, I giggled. And he beamed brightly at me. Then made a mock tough guy face with his next pose, relaxing after, smiling.

Relief etched into Yuu's features and he canted his head in the direction of home, the direction he began moving in. Botan and Kurama followed his lead. With a startled bray, Kuwabara leapt to follow, motioning widely for me to do so too.

"See? Nothing to worry about." His face lit up. "Oh! You should try to make it fun, make it into shapes, like hearts or kittens."

"I suggest not overdoing it," Kurama spoke up. Kuwabara laughed nervously and agreed quickly. Which I noticed made Kurama's mouth quirk up in amusement. I swiveled my head between them. It seemed like there was a story there.

"That…that almost looked like when I summon my oar."

"Yeah! It kind of did for a second. You should give her a look Botan!" He faltered, fidgeting as he scratched the back of his neck. "Hey, uh, Kaito. You don't mind if… I mean, she's gunna have to practice to get some control rather than getting out of hand and it's a few pointers is all so that she doesn't get into too much trouble doing this while we're uh, yeah…"

"Can they, Yuu?"

I bounced, hopeful. If anything, I'd be playing around and experimenting with it later. Like Yuu did with his to figure it out. Oh! I should ask him questions about the specifics later. Or at least try getting him to open up about it. It'd help. Also, if Sensui was going for some sort of emotional thing with Yuu, I was going to try to nip it and get him feeling better about what happened. Which reminds me of what Botan might know… Then again, she didn't mention it this morning when I kept stressing about me being fine and the opposite of what was apparently supposed to happen to me.

"Fine," Yuu reluctantly acquiesced.

And as I watched her, Botan sprung forward, an oar materializing from nearly out of thin air. I went wide eyed. There. For a second I spotted the flash of color, the white of her energy before the oar formed.

"Oooh." I leaned closer. "It's white, but…shiny."

"Iridescent," Kurama supplied me.

"Eh?" Kuwabara's head spun to him. "I always thought it was like a rainbow. Ya' know, like the ones you see in bubbles or somethin'."

"That's iridescent."

Amused, Kurama looked over at Yuu, who looked the opposite. Annoyed. Apparently, Kuwabara shared this feeling and rolled his eyes at both of them for chorusing the correction of the fancy word on him. "Bubble rainbows, iridescent, same thing, we all know what I meant by it."

"Mine kind of does that," I stated. "But more like the icy crystal of sun dogs. Maybe because mine kind of looks like miniature suns though…"

"Sun dogs?"

I quickly look up at Yuu hearing that. "Yep!" Then directed my gaze back to Botan's oar. This was both handy for me and got her attention away from my older brother with anything she might let slip. "So, you think maybe I could make something physical like that?"

"Er, um," she laughed nervously. "Maybe at some point, physical manifestations tend to…take a while to get to for some. Like with Sayaka. Or others find it easier to have something real and tangible out of it. But it's probably best to leave it at practice calling up your energy and the amount, building up the use of it."

"Okay," Kuwabara interjected. "I feel like we're specifically calling me out now. S'cuse me that I only began using my spirit energy like this just a few months ago, unlike you two."

Kurama's mouth twitched. "Apologies, Kuwabara."

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry, Kuwabara!" Botan's fingers flew up over her mouth, head slightly ducking in her guilt of unknowingly using his error of overdoing it. "I didn't mean to! It's just, I tend to forget you developed your spirit energy after Yusuke since your spiritual awareness has always been so strong."

I giggled up at the flabbergasted face. It was extremely obvious he was torn about how to take Botan's blurted apology. He went from irritated, a deep scowl, puffing himself up, pausing to confusion, then a startled gaping as his high cheekbones suddenly developed a flush of redness to them.

There was a clearing of the throat and a sly suggestion. "How about you give her a look at yours and how to go about building up reserves, laying a good foundation?"

"Yeah!" Kuwabara immediately perked up and a wide grin overtook his face, beaming and posturing at me. I giggled again, giving him my full attention. If goofy with a capital 'G' hadn't already been taken, I'd give the title to him. Silly, cheerful, the never-give-up attitude with a brilliant heart of gold…I'd be sold on calling him the real goof. "Okay, Rin, check this out right here! I've got…"

Slowing to a stop, he went slack jawed, then screeched at the top of his lungs, pointing wildly in the air at Kurama who had made the suggestion for him to show me his spirit energy. Drawing in a big breath of air, he returned to standing at full height, completely ignoring the people who suddenly noticed our group and were giving us a wide berth. He huffed. "Why do I keep forgetting you do that after all the time we spent training before the Dark Tournament?"

The resulting smile on Kurama's face was sharp and filled with mirth and amusement. "I'm not sure. Why do we keep forgetting how amusing Yusuke's reactions are when we act like something terrible happened?"

The wide grin returned to Kuwabara's face. "Heh. Right." He swiveled back around to me, looking decidedly sheepish as he reached back to scratch at the back of his neck, hunching himself down a bit. "Sorry. I'd show you mine, but I'm uh, kind of out of commission right now. Which…" Scrunching his face at that, he craned his head back up from his hunched position to look at the others. "Kind of sucks. I tend to use straight spirit energy instead of using it for making an actual object like you, Botan. Or you using yours to amplify plants already there, Kurama. She's not doing either one of those."

"Wonderful," Yuu said in a very dry voice. "After you got my sister all keyed up about it."

Flinching, Kuwabara turned slowly and tried to smile Yuu's ire away. I glanced between the pair of them and caught Botan biting at her lip. Kurama looked the least bothered by anything this all caused. Scrunching my nose at him, I went back to the discord between the two hearts of gold.

"I can try," I piped up. "And I was already going to practice anyway, Yuu. Experiment."

Sighing heavily, he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I know, Rin. Could we focus more on tips of how not to overdo it before we reach our apartment? That would be splendid."

Already shifting toward him at seeing him sigh and pinch, I caught the grit with the last word and I heard him mutter under his breath. "Since I can't look after her." And everything in me leapt out for him. My arms wrapped as far as they could around Yuu's middle, burrowing my face against him. To keep me safe. To help me. To be there for me. To do what he can to not let me down.

I had to.

I needed to do something.

I would do anything to keep Yuu safe too.

I didn't trust and was in utter fear of what exactly Sensui wanted.

But Yuu…

He was my older brother.

He would do anything to keep me safe.

He felt the blame for what happened and letting me down.

He stressed about working hard and taking care of so many things, especially time he always gave to me.

I couldn't help but feel I was at fault for the pain in his voice, the physical ticks of stress he was doing, the worry and blame and calculations of how to make the best of the situation to be able to take care of everything. The way he'd already given up the option of remaining with me. He had already promised them. I could go to Master Genkai after this was handled. Because if Mushiyori City was unsafe, if demons were going to overrun the place, that came first in a lineup. What would be the point of leaving the group without a guide to the city for concern of what was going on with me, when that would mean greater chances of them losing, and have me and him and us all being dead in a short timeframe?

Muffled, I breathed into him. "Sorry."

The air left his chest. A long arm wrapped around me. And then my hair was ruffled. "Don't worry about it, Rin. Just listen close to them. I assume they know what they are doing and talking about."

"Course we do!" The sheer amount of offense at the insult and defensive tone in that shout sent me into giggles again. "Why you gotta be talkin' like we ain't knowledgeable about stuff? Weren't you listenin' when I said we were the Dark Tournament champs?"

Looking up, I saw Yuu giving him that look. That look that spoke volumes of how much value he was giving that claim. There was a clearing of the throat and Yuu's eyes flickered across to Kurama.

"He is not incorrect in the claim, Kaito. Merely…enthusiastic." Kurama's eyes crinkled. I turned in Yuu's loose one armed grasp, trying to figure out if that was amusement or fondness. Then Kurama's gaze zeroed in on me. I stilled. What? "There are a few good basic rules of thumb to go by, no matter how your own energy comes to present itself as."

Oh! I straightened, listening intently as the group began moving again. As we went, Kurama explained.

"Pay attention to the feeling of calling it up. This helps create awareness and familiarity. Awareness to when you are and are not actively using it, cutting back on accidently bringing it forward. It'll also help you become aware when it may be acting up, to either an issue of an outside danger it is reacting to or one more internal."

His eyes flickered momentarily up to Yuu, then back to me.

"That is probably a time to not actively pull your energy forward and to search for help. Paying attention leads to awareness to using and familiarity with the feel of it. Gaining a feel for it later helps give you a mold to how you'll go about using it. We're not focusing on that one quite yet." His lips quirked up in definite amusement, eyes raised up. "There's that look again, Kaito."

"Forgive my lack of excitement, Minamino," Yuu replied in his dry tone. "But do not forget I am listening closely and am not a fan."

"Of Kurama," Kuwabara asked in surprise. "Still? I swear this is all spot on with my messing with it and what he informed me of when we were training."

"No, silly," Botan disagreed quickly. "Because it's Rin. His little sister. He's probably worried. Not to mention, he's more than just an older brother since their…ah! That is, I mean, since it's just them and their mother and he's much older in age for a sibling…"

"Oh, yeah! That makes sense!"

"May I put forward my guess of it being a bit of both for you, Kaito?" At the 'obviously' stare directed at him, Kurama's mouth quirked up in amusement and continued on, not the least bit of unease at ruffling Yuu. Ignoring what he did. What he kept doing. Botan may have a big mouth that she keeps putting a foot in it, but he was clearly doing this to Yuu on purpose. "We haven't had much chance to build a good rapport, but all of this is…"

Pausing, he cracked out a chuckle when his attention focused back on me. Annoyed, I pinched my face, glaring and scowling up at him for all I was worth. All it got was a goofy grin out of Kuwabara and Botan cooing down at me. I growled.

"I am not _cute_. You're intentionally upsetting Yuu when he's stressed." I drew my lip up, mad. "Because _you_ think it's funny. It is _not_."

Behind me, I heard Yuu's startled intake of air. "Rin."

But I didn't turn, standing my ground in front of him, keeping my gaze up at the others. All the humor left their faces, becoming more serious. Even if there was more than one set of eyes going a bit wide at me. I was just satisfied at seeing Kurama looking abashed after my telling off and I nodded, pointing up at him.

"Don't do it anymore."

Blinking at my small finger in his face, he smiled. And for once, it looked soft on his sharp features. "I won't."

"Good. You can continue now. No funny business."

The world went quiet enough for a moment for Kuwabara's whisper to carry. "Did she just Mom off to Kurama? And it worked?" Eyes wide, he turned his head to Botan. "I'm not sure if I should be concerned about that or laugh at Kurama behaving like he was a little kid to a kid."

"We've arrived," Yuu broke in tensely before Kuwabara could decide his reaction.

Except he did.

"I'm totally telling Urameshi about this," he declared.

Ignoring that, Kurama's eyes moved up and down from Yuu to me, then did as ordered. Continued. I refocused, knowing they would be leaving soon, without me. And I wanted to do all I could with what I had if Yuu had any chance of being dragged into Sensui's plotting and planning going on.

"Leaving the focus off any specific uses," he began. It was a part I actually ignored. Not fully, but I ignored that one as meant for easing Yuu's worries. I certainly wasn't going to speak up and worry him again, but that line was clearly meant for Yuu. Practicing and experimenting already meant I was using it. "Once you call it up, Kuwabara's previous suggestion of making it into 'fun shapes' is worth following. Make it small, create squares, and try to make it a long oar shape if you wish, but simply play around with it. Slowly. If there is a timer, use it or count up to ten before dispersing it. Take breaks. It would not go awry to have some sort of snack or water nearby if you start feeling dizzy and light headed. Once you begin feeling that, take a longer break or stop. That is how you overdo it."

There was a nervous laugh, yet my face almost cracked at noticing Kuwabara doing a spectacular rendition of a bobble head.

"That's pretty much the basics and the start to a foundation. Exploring and paying attention to it. Mostly common sense." He shrugged a shoulder up and looked to Yuu behind me. "It'll hold until this is over and one of us or Master Genkai can devote time to her…fairly significant spirit energy."

"Fantastic." I looked down, swallowing. Yuu was using that same tone far too many times for my liking. Or even for his own liking probably. He was not happy about this. Any of this.

His larger hand gently prodded me toward our apartment building and stepped along behind me. Then…nothing. A long stretch of awkward silence followed. Shoes scuffed and throats cleared. Someone began humming. Curious, I craned my head around to look. It was then Yuu spoke again, his tone touchier. "No, I don't mind the lingering or blatant staring when I've clearly edged us away to speak before I leave her here."

Botan eeped, Kuwabara went reddishly flustered, Kurama gave pardon, and they all moved quickly away.

Yuu's shoulders slumped in relief and crouched to eye level with me. "What is it, Yuu? I promise I won't overdo it. I'll even show you what I did when you get back so you know."

There was a clear moment of Yuu gathering himself up, glancing away for a second as he breathed in, then straight at me, his round, little eyes guarded. Concerned and on edge, I grasped a hold of his sleeve. "You're acting…off." I felt my jaw drop and heard a noise, but didn't have time to take this in. "Where is this sudden surge of protectiveness coming from, Rin?"

Panicked and stunned and reluctant to tell him I was supposed to die and a person supposed to be the villain saved me, allegedly, was the reason why I did not die and a child taken in by him has very much hinted the interest the villain has in Yuu and I really, really did not trust there to be some plan to hurt or break my older brother down in some way even though my former life's memories didn't show much interaction between them, it only caused me more concern on what would happen and what this villain had already done besides what I knew and what he had planned to do with it because he wasn't going to have any consternations about whatever he did to anyone because I'm pretty sure his end goal was all humans dead so what did it matter if Yuu—

"Woah, woah, steady, Rin. Breathe." I tried, taking big breaths and to slow down, clutching a hand to my chest. If anything, I panicked more at the sight of Yuu's eyes quickly taking this all in and the concern deepening on his face. "What is it?"

I gulped, fighting back the tears. "I…I don't want anything… I don't want anything bad to happen to you." Wrapping my arms around myself, I looked away from him and I found the words somewhere in my mind. "I mean, I know I'm not much, I'm just one person. I'm just a kid now, but you're the best and I don't want to lose you, Yuu, you deserve the best, not all…this with me and…and I just want to help so you're okay and get the best and—umpf!"

"Quit worrying so much," was murmured beside my ear. Yuu's arms tightened around me, comfortingly tight and safe and protecting. A large hand slipped up to the back of my head, pressing me against him so my tears soaked into his uniform top. He attempted joking. "That's my job. Tall, distinguished, serious. I've always been the worrier over you and Mom. Right?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "It's just… I'm worried. I worry too, Yuu. And I just have this feeling, this bad feeling. Worse than Botan slapping her mouth shut when she says stuff. You promise you're just helping them find wherever it is and you won't be anywhere near when they're fighting? You won't hang around Yusuke and get dragged into it?"

He pulled me back so we could look at each other again. The lines of his face pinched at this particular person brought up. At this particular avoidance being brought up. But I stared up at him, waiting. I needed to hear it. To hear him say it. "I certainly do not plan spending more time around Urameshi than necessary. Physical altercations are not something I seek out, you know this. Does hearing it help?" I nodded. "You look a lot calmer, that's good. I'm sorry to worry you about this. There's nothing to worry about. Not over me."

Sometime later, I watched him go. In a flash of iridescent white, Botan whipped out a flyswatter to deal with any pesky bugs and Kurama took the lead while speaking with Yuu. Kuwabara swung his arm over his head and declared they'd keep Yuu safe for me. Just before they were all out of sight, Yuu looked back to me and I waved.

And then I was left alone. Wondering upon the real reason of the noted emergence to my protectiveness over Yuu. Was it just me? Or a change due to former me? The known situation? The unknown pieces? A combination? That I knew vaguely of Sensui, his goals, the group standing against him, a fight with Yusuke. Yet knew nothing of me, nothing about me in this or any focus there appeared to be on Yuu. Was it a failed plan left out? A plan that never got off its feet and went anywhere?

I hope so.

I'll try not to worry about it. Focusing on practicing my spirit energy appeared like a good way to put it out of my mind. And also a way to prepare if I was wrong.


End file.
